Turds v Chesham 1879
10/10/2006
Lost 8-15
Steve Kinsella v Dan Colquhouns (0-3) Steve battled well in the first, but it soon became apparent (against a very able opponent) that he'd left his legs in Oz. Showed enough to confirm my uncanny ability to spot 'a diamond in the rough'. Our £10 bet on The Ashes (I get win & draw) is officially recorded here.
(Needs a trim)
Trevor Jones v Sam Watts (1-3) Last time I played Sam I was mesmerized by a 'cyclops' type eruption that was festering between his eyes.
No such excuses this time. Tonked!
Note: first time anyone in the club has been seen with bigger hair than me.
Mousse or gel, Sam?
Jim Cooper v Chris Butler (3-1) Jim, sporting 'those' tight, all too revealing 70's shorts, proved that viscose does stretch, and that you can't judge a book by its cover: he was very, very solid (Coops assures us that he is neither Jewish or Roman Catholic) and stylish. Far too dynamic for an elegant but bemused Chris, who didn't know where to look!
Polished (gel or beeswax?)
Oliver Reeves v Roger Hill (1--3) Olly looked great in the warm-up and took the first game with some panache. Roger fought back well and started to rattle Olly's cage a bit, resulting in some fine Anglo Saxon ("muddypuppingwanger" & ""puppingarthole" anyone?) and a bit of a wobble from the boy.
A swearbox should ensure that non of us has to pay match fees again. Match fitness is all he lacked. Nice 'tintinesque' quiff Olly.
Phil Courtney-Luck v Steve Ramsden (3-1) Phil, obviously out of his depth,
didn't listen to my match plan and won admirably. He took his now famous
'battle of the boardroom' mindset on court and blew poor Steve away. Now,
I've always been suspicious of 'punchy' Phil's pedigree, and after some
sleuth-work, I can reveal that he is, in fact, Sid 'The Steamer' Smith, an
infamous street fighter and circus performer from the Isle of Dogs.
I asked Phil/Sid about his philosophy of aggression and how he applied it both on
the street and on the court:
"An 'expert' doesn't so much argue the various sides of an issue as plant
his flag firmly on one side. That's because an expert whose argument reeks
of restraint or nuance doesn't get much attention. An expert must be bold if he hopes to alchemize his homespun theory into conventional wisdom. His best chance of doing so is to engage the public's emotion, for emotion is the
enemy of rational argument. And as emotions go, one of them -- fear -- is
more potent than the rest. The super-predator, Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, mad-cow, crib death: how can we fail to heed the expert's advice on these horrors when, like that mean uncle telling too scary stories to too young children, he has reduced us to quivers?"
You can't argue with that, nor should you!
Warning: Don't ask Phil/Sid for a gobstopper...unless you want to see his sucker punch.
The nicest hair in the club.
Grecian 2000 Sid?
Next weeks team will soon be revealed.
Cheers,
Trev.
No comments:
Post a Comment