Walton Cup Results

It was a fine night on Friday.
Howard Machin beat Jez Harrop 3-1 in the Walton Shield.
Johnny Machin beat Dan Fernandez 3-0 in the Walton Cup.
However, the match of the evening was watched by no-one...
Tim Westall and I thrashed away for an hour with me pipping Timbo 11-9 in the 5th...
Thanks to Lino G and James W for their efforts.

Racket Ball Finals: Tonight from 5pm

The Walton Cup final line up decided.

The Walton Shield final will be contested at 5pm by Howard Machin and Jez Harrop.

The Walton Cup final will follow at 6pm.
This will feature Johnny Machin and Dan Fernadez.
Good luck to all.
Well done to Lino Gallina for managing the event in James Walton's absence.
Apparently the old duffer (Jimbo, not Lino) will be making an appearance tonight.
Come witness the ravages of time then stay on for a bit of social as the club hosts the End of Summer Squash bash, which kicks off at about 7pm.
The big screen will be on and you won't miss a moment of the Olympic Opening Ceremony.
Where better to witness this special moment?
See you there...

Bottle!

The Olympics are about to kick in.
I've heard a lot about the Olympian spirit.
I've also heard a lot recently about 'bottling it'.
I won't quote Kipling, just refer you to the footage below.
If Team GB have this man's cahoonas we'll be fine...
Tenacity personified.

Racket Ball Tournament Finals

The finals of this year's racket ball tournament are this coming Friday.
The Walton Shield Final is at 5pm Friday.
Semi Finals are:
Jez Harrop v Paul Blanchot (Playing Wednesday 7pm)
Howard Machin v David Bennington (Playing Thursday 5.40pm)


The Walton Cup Final is Friday 6pm.
Dan Fernandes awaits the winner of the Tim Westall/Johnny Machin semi-final (5pm Thursday).
There will be a 3rd & 4th place 'drag arse' play off at 5pm Friday between me and the loser of that game.
Let's hope that Jimbo Walton makes an appearance; whisper it, but I really miss the old git...
Why not come along and support?
The Finals are followed by the Summer Squash End of Season Bash (see below for details).
Should be a grand evening...

Team Squash Party - Friday 27th July

Come along to the Team Squash Party to eat, drink and be merry, on Friday 27th July at 7.30pm for 8.00pm; £4 per person, spouse/friend/partner welcome.

Tim Russ & Company, estate agents, www.timruss.co.uk, have kindly donated all of the prizes and gifts, have sponsored this year’s Summer Team Squash. This has enabled us to provide a superb fork buffet at a subsidised price.

  Kathi Taylor & John Day, who are both long-standing members of our Club, are Directors of Tim Russ & Company.

So whether you are buying, selling, letting or looking to rent please consider giving them your custom.
 

The World is Flat: Part 1: Salty Dogs or Mongrels?

 Bullshit Ahoy! 
Chris Hosey, WKP and St. John are in the process of 'life altering' changes; essentially a male version of the menopause methinks. Instead of getting a piercing, a tattoo and a surf board they're thinking of buying a boat together. Anyone who has spent a night with Willy will know that idea is destined for disaster. However, the unlikely trio have resolved to test the waters with a series of jaunts around domestic destinations. Next stop is a sail off the West Coast of Scotland. Barely seaworthy, they are already jockeying for position as skipper. Their approaches vary:



Willy 'Ox-eye' Kirk Pugwash: Always smelling of fish, a mouthy, self righteous gobsh*te with a Prospero complex (and that's his self analysis folks), it's Willy's way or the highway. 
Although weighed down by plenty of dunnage WKP has 1000s of nautical miles experience over the other two. 
Willy bend or break?
Outlook: Foundering off snore instability, gloomy with sure signs of a Tempest...

Chris 'Hardtack' Hosey: Seemingly a genial giant whose main weapon of choice is humour but whose verbiage is as dry and tasteless as the biscuit that he's named after. Willy chuckle his way into our hearts with an incessant gulf stream of gybes and caustic wit, or willy be rendered shark food?
Outlook: Unsettled, windy but incredibly bright.

St John 'Baggywrinkle' Dyson: a land lubbing bundle of wires; considers himself the group's moral compass and that he is there to mediate between these two huge egos; to prevent chafing and such. This self regard is flawed as Sturge is essentially Hosey's bitch; able bodied but witless; as demonstrated by Louise, his lovely wife, pulling hankies from his empty noggin...
Outlook: Light airs, calm, yet dull and dim with little hope of improvement




Trevor 'Jonah' Jones: Press ganged in as a cook and a dogsbody; "you're nowt but a barrelman, a gash fanny; you are the cabin boy, good for nothing but kissing the gunner's daughter..." they said. 
I looked up the definitions: 
Kissing the gunner's daughter: bent over the barrel of a gun for punitive beating....
Gash Fanny: Refuse container or dustbin...
Cabin boy: Attendant on passengers and crew. often a young man sometimes used for sexual activity... 
Still unsure of the way I (vase)lean; I'm staying well away from the cock-pit... 
Outlook: Baffled airs; inevitably bound for Jones's Locker...
Once we've weighed anchor and are squared away I'll keep you abreast of the Scuttlebutt here...

Bullard's Bread

Di was chatting with John Bullard last night at the EGM.
They were discussing the way ahead; how to get beyond the current crusty staleness; how to provide for the members whilst making some dough at the same time.
It seems that John got the wrong end of the (French) stick...
(I love the 'eat cold' direction at the end...)


Bullard's Guide on How to Make Great Bread


This is my recipe for making really great bread.
My idea of great bread is a robust, French country loaf.
Lots of flavour in the crust, and an open texture with big holes.
It makes awesome toast.
This recipe involves no kneading.

1. Put half a pint (10 fl ozs) of water in a medium size bowl.
2. Add half a teaspoon of dried yeast (doesn’t need any more), stir and dissolve.
3. Add 8oz white or wholemeal bread flour.  Mix with a knife (doesn’t matter if there are a few small lumps)
4. Cover and leave for 12 hours (overnight). I usually do this around 9pm, so that it is ready to use in the morning.
5. Add one teaspoon of salt (around 15 grams)
6. Add 8 ozs of white plain flour.  Mix until lump-free (I use a mixer) 
7. Tip it out onto the worktop and cover with the bowl (there needs to be plenty of room for it to expand).
8. Leave for 45 mins
9. After 45 mins, slide a knife under the dough (about 1/3 of the way across) and lift one side and gently stretch the dough and fold it over the centre.  Do this for all four sides.  Replace Basin.
10. Repeat steps 8&9 three more times ie. It should take 3 hours in total
11. Ten minutes before the last stretch, put the oven on max (as hot as it will go).
12. When you have done the last stretch, dust the top of the dough with flour, then dust a rimless tray.  Place the edge of the tray next the dough, and using the knife lift the side opposite the tray and roll the dough onto the tray. Dust the ‘new’ top of the dough.  Get a very sharp knife and place one hand very gently along the top of the dough, then make an incision across the top (using your hand to gently hold the dough).
13. Put the dough in the oven and leave it for 30 minutes, by which time it should start to darken.  (if your oven is extremely hot you will need to reduce this time).  Turn the oven down to apprx 180º C, and leave for a further 20 mins.
14. The crust will be very hard initially, but will soften after 1 day.  Eat cold.

                                                                                        

Notes.    

• If you use more water (11 or 12 ozs), you get a higher rise and more open texture, but the dough is tricker to handle and will need longer at 180° C.
• If you use 100% bread flour, the bread will be harder, use 50-75% bread flour.
• 100% wholemeal flour does not rise as much and will be heavier.

Same Old Same Old?

Are you coming to the EGM tonight?
7pm start.
It's really important for the future of the club.
Our club is in decline.
Whichever way you sway, you surely must agree that something needs to change.
We need energy.
We need dynamism.
We need vibrancy.
We need... a plan.
If you've got an opinion on how to improve the future of your club, now's the time to voice it.
It'll be a long time gone.
No hiding away in dark corners now...
There are worse things than burying your head in the sand...

A Message from the Club Captain

As you should be aware there are serious discussions going on regarding the future of the club and how it is managed going forward.
The Board have submitted a proposal for a restructure, which will be discussed further at an EGM 7pm on Friday 13th July, at which time a decision (based on a vote) will be taken to determine which path the club takes. 
You will have the opportunity to put your views forward and help influence the club's future.
Please can you consider completing a voting form and posting it in the ballot box behind the bar before 7pm Wednesday 11 July. 
Ballot papers are available on request from any staff member.
The deadline is important; it is vital for you as a member to register your opinion.
Thank you for your support.
Dan Fernandez
Club Captain