Tigers go toe to toe with The Vale

Chris Gildersleve writes:

We hosted Aylesbury 1st team who it has to be said rather rudely turned up with two number ones!
So Running Machin(e) cheerily went on 1st against Matt and proceeded to run to all 4 corners of the court. As the match went on Matt rather unkindly would send him to one corner before despatching the ball to another, Johnny would oblige him with by running to where he was convinced the ball was going to go before doubling back to where it finally went. He looked mightily relived the match finished so quickly. 0-3
Meanwhile the crowds were building on Ct4 as our Real McCoy's big test against the force that is Phippsy. High octane stuff indeed it was with a hard fought 1st going our way and an even more convincing 2nd. The crowd were rubbing their hands when a healthy 4-0 lead was looking like a landmark victory but Thomas dug into his deep pool of experience and cleared the 1st hurdle. Mike had lost his momentum as Tom squared the match as Mike's trade mark "error free" squash was deserting him. This was a very competitive game but not to go to the good guys. 2-3
Dan Dare showed up at the customary 8:30 slot only to complain that he had to mark me (Rhino) and Simon Townsend rather than watch the climax to Mike & Tom, sh*t happens. The season so far for me has been renewing old rivalries and Simon and I go back some 30 years!  He came out of the blocks well and no surprises I lost the 1st but thankfully not to cheaply. With the beautiful game being exploited on Ct 4 this was a contrast of extremes but the uglier it got the better I faired. So ugly it stayed and our 1st win of the night was posted. 3-1
Ashers took on Ian McGowan who in my day was at 1 until Tom grew up but has always had a gritty game. Ashers came in the changing room 2 nil down declaring himself not fit enough to play at this level. I reminded him that there was no way the Ian takes on any the the outrageously stupid court routines he put himself through regularly and that he should use this to his advantage, he left shaking his head. I went and got a beer (my new found training aid) to get back up to see he was now 2-2! Ian does not lie down easily and the work rate Ashers was putting in was considerable but he proved up to the challenge and posted his best scalp to date. 3-2
With Sick Note sending in his note. Dan Dare moved up to 3. Once again on last once again the match all level. Sam Hales is fitter and faster than Dan and has considerably more hair. When someone consistently picks up your best shots the temptation is to try and hit an even better one, this usually brings the tin into play and that was the story of the 1st two games. Not looking good at all for the good guys. On the basis that my pep talk to Asher's was responsible for his win downstairs I ventured to impart more wisdom, patience Dan wait for the openings to come. He gets the 3rd. Down I go again "keep it going the pace is good" Dan looked at me and then at the Defibrillator. It was not to be, Sam's engine had more horses so no fairytale ending. 1-3.
Still 9 points against this lot is no disgrace, Mike was close to pulling it off and Gareth got a great win. Next Chesham Bois and more thankfully no Curry.
Clearly embarrassed by this oversight caused simply by their No.5 pulling out last minute and rather than doing the honourable thing and finding some lowly 3rd team replacement opted without shame to bring Matt Marshall along with Thomas Phipps to enjoy our Curry. I cannot help thinking that a homemade bowl of unidentifiable meat and gravy along with some boiled to bits vegetables ( I wonder how Pauline is doing?) may well have been to our advantage. Hey Ho! 

x

Trojans v Aylesbury 2

So, the Trojans next outing, this time away to Aylesbury 2. 

Chapples' strategy for this match was admirable.  With Joe absent and Richard G injured, we needed some top line replacements.  He managed to finesse Olly at 1 and Heather  at 2, not bad for the 5^th team.  So, stuffed with ringers we had nothing but confidence for our trip.  What could possibly go wrong?

On arrival, the first cracks appeared.  Was that Dave Herron? What's he doing here?  I'm sure he was in the semi-final of the Bucks closed a year or so ago! And who's that other bloke, I'm sure I've seem him play against our second team before!?

So first up was Heather against Dave Herron, a lefty versus a ginger, what a combo.  Tough one to call.  Heather took a while to get used to the cool courts, but her customary solid play started to tell. Playing great lengths with consistency saw her take the fist game 9-7. Dave then started to play a little deeper in order to cope with Heather's lengths and started to pick her off with some finely judged boasts.  Once on top he never looked back, result 3-1.

Next was Olly against Simon Townsend, a very awkward customer.  Despite some very stylish play from Olly, he was having great difficulty dealing with his unorthodox opponent. (I swear I saw him play one drop shot with the racquet handle vertical). Some fine play from Olly, but just not consistent enough.  Result 3-0.

Yours truly next against Ian Durrant, a tall, gangly customer.  Being a slow starter, I wasn't too worried about taking time to get to grips with my opponent.  Lost the first game.  Started getting better in the second, but despite starting to improve and play some good shots  I struggled to get on the front foot. Unsettled him with a few unorthodox shots, but sad to say, never got to grips with the  occasion.

Result 3-0

Captain for the night, Richard Monson came next, against Alex Woodyer, a very good player.  Richard started a bit erratically, and took a while to adjust, but lost the first game 9-0.  He started the second better and his well known ability to retrieve balls that were well past him, definitely helped, but his lack of match practice started to take its toll.  After he lost the second, I told Heather to give him some advice “but I don't know what to tell him” she said , - “ well just make something up” I urged. Whatever she said, it wasn't quite enough.

Result 3-0

Finally, big John Catchpole was playing a 16 year old girl. It looked like Tarzan versus Jane.  And so it started out, John did a marvelous job of intimidating his opponent and took the first game.  In the second game his opponent calmed her nerves a bit and started to play a very tidy, well crafted game.  1 game all.  Unfortunately as the game continued John tried to play a more cultured game (for him), not a good time to try out new ideas.  Despite telling him to go out there and 'unsettle' his opponent as only he could do, the game morphed into something more like David versus Goliath.  Still, he got one game more than most of us.

Result 3-1.

So we lost he match 5-0, an unnerving crash back to earth – a retreat with dented shields and bent spears.  And the moral of the tale is – make sure your ringers are better than their ringers.

A Brace of Tiger Match Reports: Chris Gildersleve writes:

Tigers show their claws:

Our Captain (Ashers) has been preoccupied somewhat and the deputy Captain Fernandez (Dan who Dares) promptly seconded yours truly (Rhino) to do the team report.

Star- Date: 2-10-2013

Location: Chesham Bois

Players (In ranked order): (Jonny)Running Machin(e): (Adam) Sick Note: Dan Dares: (Chris) Rhino: The Pig

The Running Machine kicked of our season in possibly his first ever showing at 1 in Div1 against a talent that is Phil Taylor and made his mark he did. The result show a 3-1 win to Jonny and that is how it will be remembered. Jonny wanted some perspective with regard to the fact that he has 2 legs and his opponent just the 1½ . But I have told him a win is a win and we a re grateful.

Sick Note eased himself back to squash after a lengthily layoff with a tricky oppo -  Mike Thorpe - that manifested an untidy game but the experience and last drops of energy that Adam called on was enough to pull through. 3-2, there is more to come from Adam so a positive start indeed.

I followed on against Neil Hinds. I have played Neil many times in the last 20 years and at best have registered 2 wins and today was not one of them 0-3, I take some comfort in his ranked position relative to ability is probably on the generous side.

The Pig kindly filling in for Ashers tour down under started very well but a combination of the previous nights efforts and then Rob Parry finding his range 1-3

No prizes for guessing the last man up, has anyone ever seen him go on 1st? Anyhow it was worth the wait as this was the game of the night. With Dan cruising through the 1st and the second was well on its way when Simon Ross found his way into the game (and the I cant say before you knew it as it was now pretty late and we were getting very hungry) it was 2-2. As before Dan would run up a 6 point advantage only to find it levelled back up. How often do we find ourselves at the end of the evening with everything hanging on the last game of the last match anyhow Dan Dare did dare to take a few chances that finally paid off and as we all know he who dares……wins! So a tight night with the spread of points 10-10 but the winners spoils of the bonus 4 to the good guys. A good start to our campaign.

Star-Date: 9-10-2013

Location: Beaconsfield

Players (In ranked order):  (Mike McLaughlin) The Real McCoy: (Jonny)Running Machin(e): (Adam) Sick Note: Dan Dares: (Chris) Rhino

With two teams back in Div1 some strengthening was required especially at the top order to avoid the Tigers requiring the dreaded parachute payment next season. So welcome with me if you will Mike who kicked of proceedings against young Alex Hartley. The opening salvo were a brace of hand in/outs of 40/50 shot rallies with no ¼ given or taken. It was exhausting to mark but neither player appeared to show any effects. It felt like a good 10 minutes before a point was won and it was Alex's hard worked advantage. The next few went with Alex before Mike finally got on the board but the momentum swung back to Alex to take the 1st game. Mike came out stronger in the second commanding the T bossing Alex around the court. There were still no easy points but Alex was making more errors. 1-1 The same applied to the 3rd with Mike looking more comfortable. 2-1. Expectations from the home crowd were soon vanquished as Alex found his way back into the game, it was brutally hard squash still long rallies with great court coverage both players still attempting to look unflustered and take control but Alex got it back to 2-2. Was Mike spent? Quite the opposite, the 4th game was the best that Alex had to offer and it toll was taken in legs and heart  as Mike backed up his squash with his stamina to show us all he is a great asset to the Tigers and yes The Real McCoy. (3-2)

Adam Anderton was gracing court 4 aside Mike and as I was marking I did not see too much. He took the 1st two games before the lack of court time took hold of his game and at this level tiny margins are all that is required for the advantage to swing. But 2 points to add to his 3 last week are a great contribution to the cause. 2-3

I went on next once again vs an opponent that I have played many times in the last 20 years. My record much better here thankfully but any game against Mark Mellett is going to go the distance as he never ever gives up. We had some good exchanges to start but Mark found his stride quicker than I and took the 1st. I was pleased to settle down in the 2nd and took it for 2 points and even happier in the 3rd when I won to love. No surprises to those that know us to hear that Mark fought back strongly in the 4th to level things up but I had run him hard. So here we are again fighting a 5th. I quickly take control and cash in on the 4th to take the final game to love. 3-2

I get back to see that Running Machin(e) is having a ding dong with Tor Stockdale and is 2-1 up. The rallies are tight and the pace is high but Jonny holds on to win in 4. 3-1 and a second win secured. 

Can we seal it off in the last match with Dan Dare and Ozzie Mustafa. Ozzie gets the better start and takes the 1st. Dan gets involved in the 2nd but loses 10-8. The odds of Ozzie holding on at this pace are slim but hold on he does taking the final game 10-8, so sadly no icing on the cake but a win against Holmer Green is no mean feat, well done to all. 

Trojans v Chesham Bois 1879 2

John Bullard writes (reticently):

At last, the big night had arrived, the Trojans were about to play their first match. 

The air crackled with nervous tension.

Our opponents, Chesham 1879 2 – tricky.

With Chapples, Monson and Bullard in the team, it was never going to be pretty to watch. Consequently, I suggest that the team motto should be Turpis Lucri -"win ugly". 

And we need some classy Trojan nicknames.

First up, yours truly. Bit of pressure before the off, as it doesn't look good to lose when you're playing at 5 for the fifth team. My opponent, Paul, a young, stocky upstart who turned out to be surprisingly quick. First game was a 'getting the measure of each other' affair, which I eventually won when he called a bold '1' at 8-all. Relaxed a bit in the 2nd, played a few lobs and won that 9-3. Relaxed a bit too much in the 3rd and lost 5-9. Came back fired up in the 4th and closed out the match at 9-5. 

Result 3-1

Monson was playing at 4. His opponent looked like a cross between Giant Haystacks and Burl Ives and about as mobile. Richard complained that “he got in the way all the time” - did everybody spot the irony there? At the end of the first game he came off looking grim-faced and ashen, not good. However, with some adroit advice from the team, he started to move him about and turned it around. Result 3-1

Playing 2 was Richard Graham. Steve was a very capable, disciplined opponent who gave him trouble from the off, confidently putting Richard's serves away and dominating the play. After settling in, Steve took the first game 9-4. In the second game he had the measure of Richard and won 9-2. Richard rallied a bit in the 3rd, but overstretched himself and did his back in. Carried off on his shield. Result 0-3

Over on ct 5 captain Chapples was in a titanic struggle with Mark. This was epic stuff!! Chaps took the first 9-7. Mark won the 2nd 10-8. And boy was it ugly. The crowd in the gallery didn't know what to do with themselves. Chaps then lost the 3rd! The noble captain girded his loins and won a herioc 4th game. The 5th game was unwatchable. I have never seen Chapples run so much. He kept getting a lead and then losing it. He got match point – then lost it, disaster. At 8-8 it looked like he might have come unstuck. Nobody in the gallery could stand it. Back and forward it went, impossibly gutsy shots, miraculous retrieving, wood shots, this game had it all. Finally, he dragged himself over the line to win 10-8. Worthy of an epic poem. At last, the gallery could go to the bar. 

 Result 3-2

Finally, Joe Budzinski playing at 1. His opponent was a big lad – like the entire Persian army in one bloke. Very stylish, he had a drop shot that was a gift from the Gods – better than St John's. In the 1st game Joe made a lot of unforced errors, probably because he had just got back from India. Lost the 1st game a surprising 9-2. Got into his rythmn in the 2nd and just got better. Great game to watch, brilliant shots from both players. 

Result 3-1 

My suggestion for Joe's 'nom de guerre' – Paris (Trojan prince), very stylish.

So, a handsome victory in our first encounter - and a heroic bar bill.

Nike! (means 'victory')