Bears come over 'cute'

You know how sometimes something just tickles you and you want to share it with your mates?
Just goes to prove that there are some cute and wholesome 'Bears' in the world...

Squash Drills with Jonathan Power 1

Jonathan Power is a legend.
Who better to take tips from?
This will be the first of a few of these that I post and will always be followed by a little bit of his madness.
As I keep telling my disgruntled opponents; genius is close to insanity...
Squash Drills with Jonathan Power 1:

And You Think I'm a Bad Marker?

This amazing rally ends with a farcical decision that even I would be ashamed of:

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

After the nonsense of the previous post it's nice to see some awesome squash.
First up is White v Gaultier from a while back; one of the finest rallies ever, followed by the great Jonathan Power (I miss him) performing a trick shot that must be the squash equivalent of a 'hole in one':

Silly Pilley: Taking a Squash Ball Hit at 175mph

Strewth! Cameron Pilley, current world record holder for hardest squash ball ever hit (175mph), lines up his dopey brother Morgan against the front wall for a free shot. 
Morgan doesn't seem the sharpest tool in the woodshed and kind of deserves what's coming... at 175mph.
Next time WKP jams one up your jaxy be grateful it's not 'Silly Pilley'...

.

Lions tame Chesham Bois (26/10/11)

On Wednesday evening the first team took on the mighty Chesham Bois 2.

CB2 are the current league donkeys with a negative result average of 3-19.

Defeat was unthinkable.

Nobody told ‘Not So' Manley...

Results:

Mark Treadwell v Owen Riddle (3-0)

Routine for Treaders who did his usual no frills demolition job on the youngster; he bullied the T dropping only 7 points.

CK Foo v Simon Ross (3-1)

The usual mixture of inspiration and indifference from the mighty Foo…

Nic ‘not so’ Manley v Dan Glen (2-3)

Anyone want to buy a racket?

‘Dirty’ Dan Fernandez v Peter East (3-1)

Dan (according to Dan) was brilliant.

Toby ‘Magic’ Johnson v Tim Paul (3-0)

Toby (according to Dan) was brilliant too. This was ‘Magic’s’ debut for the Lions and he impressed, winning 9-1/9-7/9-1.

Next week's 1^st team match is against is against their nemesis; Gerrards ‘very’ Cross on November 2.

They’ll next be gracing the home courts on November 9^th against their other archrivals Homer Green when club number 1 Paul Boyle will be playing.

Come roar the Lions on…

Video Games

I'm not sure what this has got to do with squash but it's a worthy diversion.
Let's just say I'm posting it for anyone that's injured and needs cheering up.
Great song and look at the mouth that it comes out of...

Tomorrow Night: Will 'Dirty's' Lions maul Chesham Bois 2?

Our Club Captain 'Dirty' Dan Fernandez (below) writes:

Tomorrow, Weds 26 Oct, the Lions take on Chesham Bois 2 at home.
CB are playing on strength rather than split strengths donuts rumoured the CB2s may not be as string as some teams. (translation anyone?)
The Lion's Pride:
'Surf or Turf' Treadwell - direct from a break in Cornwall.
The Foo Fighter - back from injury, silent but deadly...
Nic 'not so' Manley - rumoured to be in decline; come see the horror...
Dirty Dan - punch up guaranteed... 
'Magic' Tobias - making his Lions season debut. Sit on your nans....
Good luck to the Lions.
Come support.
7.40pm start.

Happy Birthday Di

If you give me forewarning I can help you celebrate important moments in your lives: weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs.
If it's your birthday I'll dance a little jig for you in my kitchen; singing your birthday song along to a chipped musical mug.
I could do that for you.
Really.
Today is Di's birthday, so try and imagine me doing the dance.
It's a small kitchen; just stubbed my toe...
Anyway, if you'd like to raise a glass with us ce soir come knock on the door 7.45pm onwards.
18 The Green 
Wooburn Green
HP10 0EF
I'll be in the kitchen, singing Di's birthday song at 8.30ish, if I can get the guitar off her...
Can someone bring TCP?

Lack of Talent Evening: 7pm Saturday 26th November

From your beloved Chairman, Bob Heard:


Have you ever wanted to see the Club Chairman, and other assorted “volunteers”, make complete fools of themselves (again!) or even demonstrate your own “lack of talent” by performing musically in public? Or maybe just come along for a good old-fashioned sing-song and have some fun?

Well now’s your chance! On Saturday 26 November the Club will be hosting a musical extravaganza from about 7pm until midnight, with music-a-plenty, a hot evening supper, joyous liquid refreshment and merriment all round.

A number of “musicians” (a term to be applied quite loosely to some, but certainly not all, of this motley crew) have been lined up to play all sorts of music with guitars, drums and other assorted instruments. Bob Heard, Paul Austin, Tim Westall, Bob Powell and Mike Atkinson have already agreed to be sacrificial lambs, and a few more are in the offing.

The evening will be totally informal, with no predetermined sets of music, but rather a “play what you want when you feel like it” structure and requests allowed only if anyone present can play/sing the song. Karaoke interludes will be strictly encouraged!

Please now put the date in your diary, watch out for a further announcement about ticket sales (at an incredibly cheap price) and, if you would like to be a member of this exclusive “band” - especially if you can sing – please do contact Chris Griffiths, Trevor Jones or Bob Heard, who will welcome you with open arms.


Love and kisses, your Chairman: Bob Heard xxx
PS: I'd invite feedback on my latest promo shot (see below) taken by the club's unofficial photographer, the lovely Di Holmes (www.diholmesphotography.co.uk)
She's taken years off me...

Squash and Racketball Evening

On Friday 14th October the club hosted an evening of exhibition squash and racketball.
First up we had a butcher's feast served up by Tim Vail and Tom Phipps in the 'Racketball Challenge'.
'Tiny' Tim is the National Racketball champion, ranked No2 in England.
There are not many Premier League squash players who can eat 12 pork pies in a minute; 'Tiny' dominates the 'T' see convincingly that it takes an A to Z and a compass to get around him. That was the challenge for Aylesbury's pin up Tom, who is the Bucks Racketball champion and ranked nationally at No5.
The rallies were long, languorous and spectacular; the packed galleries in awe of both players' flexibility, dexterity and creativity.
Tim tonked Tom eventually after much grand spectacle; they danced spectacularly. Excellent box office gents. Well done.
The next offering was more traditional fayre though not exactly meat and potatoes; the 'Squash Challenge':
Clive Ewins (British over 35 national runner up/World over 35 semi finalist/Ex world top 80 ranked) took on the club's No1 and current champion Paul Boyle (Kiwi Terrier).
We expected the haka from the All Black; got nowt but a hacking cough.
He might have been poorly but he hammered poor Clive with a ruthless virtuoso display. No mercy...

After the games the members made for the bar to enjoy the late bar extension and to dip their bread in the evening's culinary offerings: Chicken and Porcini Casserole & Beef in Red Wine Ragu with Star Anise, served up by The Camel's squeeze, Pam McNeil and 'Chef de Club', Trevor Jones.
Pam waved her ladle a little too generously at first; those 'Irish Portions' gradually declining to 'Kiddy Meal' proportions as it became apparent that the natives were rampantly ravenous. Where does Howard put it?
Oh, and club captain (and current club racketball champion) 'Dirty' Dan Fernandez (right) made a speech that no-one really listened to; I'll try and post a transcript here to reveal if anything of note was said...
Have a look below to some images of the evening captured by the unofficial club photographer, lovely Di Holmes (http://www.diholmesphotography.co.uk).
If you scroll to the bottom you can marvel at the size of Trev's ladel...