What Was All That About? A Season Reasoned: The Bulls: Jim Cooper

A review of the season: I've thrown these questions at all team players and will publish them as they trickle in.
If you've been involved, please email me your responses (extra verbiage welcome) with a photo to: 
trev@lisacottage.demon.co.uk
First in the book is The Bull's Jim Cooper.
Coops has taken these questions very seriously, although our photographer Di caught him contemplating another sonorous subject altogether:
Chips or mash?


Highest high?

Holding on for a win in 5 against Chesham Bois Seniors. Wasn’t playing well but gritted it out for an important team win.

Lowest low? 

Losing 3:0 to that fat bloke from Holmer Green 3 who only turned up to ogle Lisa behind the bar.

Funniest moment? 

Somebody naively enquiring from Bob what had gone wrong with his marking effort in the Trevor vs Gazza head-to-head. I ran for cover!

Most controversial moment? 

Inexplicably losing my rag when playing Cpt Fielding Bear and totalling my favourite racket against the wall...

Team player of the year? 

Tough decision this one but ultimately I think it has to go to Natalie. So many of her games have gone to 5 and she’s pulled out some great wins: James Wyatt, Seb Monson, Mick O’Sullivan and from 2 love and 8 nil down last week against Chesham Bois Seniors. Great commitment and quality squash.

Team donkey (and why)? 

I don’t think we’ve had one this year. All the Bulls have performed.

Quote of the year? (overheard on or off court.) 

I liked the description of the Chesham Bois Seniors mini-bus "smelling faintly of piss and waiting to take them back to the home."

Describe your captain in 3 words... 

Collegial, controlled, consumptive, camelesque (oh that’s 4)

A Fair Cop

For Sale: No Strings Attached

For Sale

A 60 minute racket session with mystery ax murderer.
5pm today (Friday 30th March).
Price: £6.60
Sold as seen.
Contact: 07941 004382
No time wasters...

Match Reports: Super 2nds v CB Wrinklies

We hosted Chesham Bois Seniors last night (seen right, waiting for their team bus) who were all keen not to be too late back to their nursing home, so turned up on time unlike our very own Dirty, Neil!

First up was Phillip CL v Neal Gibbons – Neal is like a the junior in this team being still in his forties. Phillip huffed and puffed but complained that the ball/court was too hot and his cross court flicks and drops rarely worked. A close first game was followed by 9-1 and 9-2 and Phillip lost 3-0.

Antti v Mick O’Sullivan – Antti goes from strength to strength and Mick soon realised that Antti was too strong and quick against his aging body and a smaller bag of tricks than years gone by. Mick was beaten for 9 points. 3-0 Antti.

Gazza v Chris Jordan – Unfortunately for Chris his hip and groin gave him more trouble than dinner at Downing Street and Chris amassed 4 points to godown 3-0. I then played Antti in a best of three.

Neil v Rob Ballingall – I was playing at the same time but Neil having turned up an hour late and therefore skilfully missed marking either of the first 2 matches rushed onto the first empty court leaving Chris and I opened mouthed at the sheer audacity of it all! Neil fresh from reading Dirty’s autobiography “I do it my way” is surely a shoe in for the next Club Captain! Neil allowed Rob 8 points and won 3-0

Chris v Peter Smith – I didn’t see much of this but our Chris is having his Gazza and Dirty share of injuries of late. Pete, wearing those long ankle length shorts and a white jumper tucked into them managed to snuff out a muted Chris whose foot injury was giving him jip.Chris lost 3-0.

So a 3-2 win and 13-6 in points and next week we take to the road against The Bulls. 

Gazza can’t wait for Trevor, sans Bob mais je vais gagner, on verra!

Gazza

Jimbo for England

This just in from Mark Wyatt; a response to Gazza'a invitation to the end of season meal at the Basmati.

Now, young Jimbo likes a Phal and was keen to drink us all under the table, but his dad has other plans...

Hi Gareth,
Thanks for your text inviting James to the End of Season Party on 20 April.
We were intending to come, but James has just been selected for his first international cap that weekend as you will see from the attachment. He thought about turning down the invite in favour of the Junior Club Champs and a meal at the Basmati with you guys, but duty calls, so please accept our apologies !!
I have attached a photo from the German Open and one from the Czech Open to replace the one on the blog with the extra from the Lord of the Rings!
James currently has an injury to his gluteus maximus for which Kiran is giving him regular physio and I have a recurrence of my neck injury, so neither of us will be around for the next few weeks.

Cheers,

Mark

Match Report: Bulls v Chesham Bois Wrinklies

After a disastrous fortnight that saw the Bulls lose heavily to the division's bottom two teams, we were in need of a fillip; indeed a half decent result to keep us from the realms of relegation. 
Jones was dropped/injured and in came the maverick, yet feckless Dyson.
If St. John was the answer what on earth was the question?

Things didn't bode well:

The Pig had swine fever

Camel was... all at sea
Coops had spent an exhausting week off the piste and on the girlfriend

And Natalie? 
Natalie was having trouble 'digging in'... wasn't she...?

Captain Camel writes:

Bulls in Bullish form at Bois

Be in no doubt, this was an end of season relegation dog fight, as Chesham Bois' Oldest and Wisest slogged it out against a Bulls side which had lost it's last 2 matches...


Captain Chris Jordan v Natalie
This was the match of the evening. Chris, remembering Natalie's 3-2 epic win over Mick O'Sullivan before Christmas, was in no mood for a marathon, and set out to win it in 3. Playing superbly, he took the first two games and cruised to 8-0 match point in the 3rd.
That was it; or was it?
Natalie suddenly fired up on all cylinders, started driving low and hard, chased everything everywhere, saved 5 match points , and took the third 10-8.
Confidence regained, she powered through the fourth 9-1, and despite a frantic fight back from Chris in the fifth she won it 9-5.
An inspirational and motivating win to start the evening.....

Rob Ballingall v Ian
Ian was in no mood to take prisoners and set off at 100 mph. Looking lean and mean, and on a warm court, Ian picked up all that Rob could drop and flick and lob, racing through to a 3-0 win.

Richard Eaton-Hart v Jim
Back from a week on the piste, Jim was hurled into a furious encounter with the plucky and competitive Richard. Despite going 2-1 down, Jim dug in and summonsed the strength to snatch the fourth 10-9, and the fifth 10-8 for a great win, and to give the Bulls victory at this early stage.

Aubrey Waddy v Capt Camel
Aubrey's neat drops and disguised drives had me all over the place. Couldn't work out what was coming next... and couldn't work out a game plan... so just chased and chased and tried to hang on in there....to just win 3-2.

Mick O'Sullivan v St John
Mick, a very tricky left hander, took on St John (limp wristed righty), who had stepped in at late notice for the injured Trevor. Lost the first and rallied hard in the second only to go down 9-7, after which Mick took control in the third to win the match 3-0.

A 4-1 win for the Bulls....

The Bull's last match of the season is v Gareth's Super Seconds on Tuesday 3rd April. All welcome!!

Light Relief: Divorced Barbie

One day, a father leaves work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the sales girl, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"
The sales girl answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for £19.95, Shopping Barbie for £19.95, Beach Barbie for £19.95, Disco Barbie for £19.95, Ballerina Barbie for £19.95, Astronaut Barbie for £19.95, Skater Barbie for £19.95, and Divorced Barbie for £265.95."
The amazed father asks: "How much?! Why is the Divorced Barbie £265.95 and the others only £19.95?"
The sales girl rolls her eyes and sighs, "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls."

Super 2nds v RAF

Chairman Mears marches on!

There’s no stopping our Chairman now. Off we went to Halton with Chris, Neil, Kev, Gazza and Antti. We were met by Len Brettell in the security office and got our first bit of good news in that Paul Warner was injured J Poor Len had to wait at the office miles away from the courts until each of our players arrived and Neil graced us his arrival around 8.30pm and couldn’t wait to reveal his Army tee-shirt! He was strangely pumped out. I think he’s looking forward to the end of season bash a little too much! (As discussed in the showers!)

Antti v Tony Jackson
At 8-8 in the first game Antti went on to take it, took the second only to go 1-5 down in the third. I turned away I thought for a few seconds and in that time Antii had won 3-0. He has won both his matches 3-0 and will surely be in league 1 soon and pushing up the team order next season.

Chris v Dik Tudor
Dik looked as if from Tudor times but played immaculate thoughtful squash and in the first match Chris didn’t move him around and went 1-8 down losing 3-9. I had a chat with him and the pace and width improved and Chris took the second. Dik looked exhausted and Chris dominated to take the 3rd game. The 4th was tighter but Chris closed out. 3-1 win.

Gazza v Len Brettell
Now Len is as fit as a RAF’s PT instructor’s dog and after getting to 2-0 Len came back taking the 3rd and into the 4th my lack of match fitness did tell. At 8-8 the chance of winning a 5th was very slim but I crossed the line. 3-1 win

Neil v Lee Cobley
Lee’s a top man and we looked at old photos in the viewing gallery upstairs of him and Sean Flynn as teenagers! Scary. He walloped (according to him) Trevor last week who wasn’t happy! I was playing at the same time but I believe that Neil was 2-0 and 2-1 down before taking the 4thand then the 5th as Lee inevitably tired. You just have to dig in Trevor and fight it out! 3-2 win

Chairman v Nigel Peters
What can I say as the ever chastened Kev looks to finish the season on a high and win a high win ratio. New stats to come soon Kev! He easily won 3-0 and then went onto play our Chris on another court!

So a 5-0 win and 19-4 against the RAF

GAZZA

Gazza's Old Dog's End of Season Bash

Old Dog's End of Season Party!

Following last years's great night I propose a doing it again on Friday 20th April.

I have spoken to Basmati and have provisionally booked the rear & private room for 8.00pm. 

It comfortably holds 26 and up to 30 if we are prepared to be as close as some of us are on court!

I suggest squash for anyone interested from 5.00 pm onwards, in the bar 6.30-7.00 to boost bar takings, Basmati, Greyhound after (?) and then back to Jo's for more!

So if you are interested in coming to the Basmati please email gareth@ashingtonpage.co.uk to confirm and please only confirm if you are sure (subject to a disaster!) 

This is open to all team players, women & men and non team players. 

In fact the evening last year was better for a healthy mix!

When confirming please indicate if you want to play before. 

Gazza

James Wyatt: German Open Under 13's Champion

Great news just in from a very proud father.
Mark Wyatt, pater of our very own James 'Jimbo' Wyatt texted Gazza yesterday:

"James won the German Open final today 3-0 - his first European Super Series win.
Drinks are on me. Fill your boots!"

Congratulations to Jimbo.
The first of many I'm sure for James, (seen right receiving his Bucks under 13's championship trophy from some unnamed extra from 'Lord of the Rings').
See you at the bar Mark!

A Humdinger of a Dead Ringer

Our new chairman (right) is starting to impress himself upon the club.
However, making those tough calls does not necessarily heighten his popularity; indeed word on the street was that there may be one or two 'contracts' out on him.
Accordingly, to evade a threatened 'hit' he recently took a decision to use the bulk of the club's annual income to employ a local, long term unemployed vagrant as a 'lookalike'; the idea being that this 'body double' would take the bullet for him.
Controversially, our sources reveal that the chairman has been pocketing the poor sap's payment; meagerly rewarding him for his life threatening labour with a "a magical, never ending invisible bottle of Napoleon's brandy"
He's a humdinger of a dead ringer don't you think?
Literally a 'dead' ringer... see below remarkable footage as the unfortunate doppelganger is presented with that spirit of a bottle, (bless him, look how happy he is as he caresses it) and then takes a bullet to the belly.
His last words were apparently:
"A, A, A, Ow!"
Police would only confirm that the fatal shot came "from somewhere behind the bar..."

How's Yer Willy? (Part Five): What a Great First 24 Hours (With One Exception)

Well, we finally set sail from Panama around 10.30. We motored out using the channel that the huge ships use. It was low tide so there was not much traffic. Once we cleared the channel we found about 15 knots of wind on the beam and set all three sails. The electric winches will take a little getting used to but they make the process of raising and lowering the sails incredibly easy. No need for Hosey knots or any of that malarkey. The boat sailed beautifully making 7 or sometimes 8 knots with virtually no heeling. We trolled lures looking for tuna or wahoo but no success. We dropped anchor as planed at Isla Contadora around 5 pm and settled down to a St Patrick’s day dinner of Willie’s chicken curry. According to the guide book we are anchored by chance off the only nudist beach in all of Panama. It’s name translates to ‘Swedish Woman’s beach. I haven’t seen her yet . The one fly in the ointment was the news that Ireland had gone down heavily to England at the rugby in Twickenham. So Mike, Richard, Trevor, Kev, Phil A, Chris, John B et al enjoy your day in the sun and I am glad I wasn’t there to watch it. There is still a bit of light pollution here because this island is populated, however the sky was spectacular and bodes well for later in the trip.

We went to bed around 8.30 and got up just after it got light around 6 am. While we were having breakfast and trying to decide what we wanted to do today we noticed fish busting the surface close to the boat. Frantic race to untie and launch the dinghy so that Florian and I could take my spinning rod and have a go. First couple of attempts failed. We got too close with the outboard and put them down. Next attempt put us amongst them but no takes. I knew that they were tuna so off with the wire leader and straight to 35 lb mono. Next time we got in range we had a tug but no hook up. Very frustrating. Next time wham , a nice 3.5 kg Bonito. Shortly after another, so back to the boat to fillet them and hand over to Myra who had her recipe books at the ready. The trip has a long time to run but what a fantastic start. More later.

How's Yer Willy? (Part Four): Everything I Said Yesterday Was a Lie

Sailing is about as exact as fishing. Last night, in the middle of the night our skipper came to me and said he was not ready to go. There was a pump that cools the generator that we replaced this week, but he had no spares. Also we were short on battery water and bodge tape. So today was the final ,final provisioning day. We are off tomorrow. It says here. Anyhow what do you think of my old salty crust beard.
Comments welcome.
Bye the way Trevor, I know that Ireland will beat England on St Patrick’s day at Twickenham, or I will eat the underpants that I am not wearing.

Match Report: Super 2nds v Chesham Bois Juniors

Flying Finns!

We welcomed Antti into the fold and after his performance with big enveloping arms! After our confidence was improved following the Bears match we tried to win two consecutive games.

Gareth v Dave Jordan 

Young Dave is very young and improving & I managed to take the first but started blowing a la Camel in the second but still managed to nick the game. Going into the 3rd all Dave needed to do was to take me to the front but strangely he didn't and 3-0 followed.

Flying Finn v Cameron Ford

Well Cameron is a strong 5 and I have never see Antti play but believe he had beaten Coops the Sunday before. A leftie and very competitive he ground out a 3-0 win to put us 2 up.

Neil v Mike Thorpe 

Mike strikes the ball harder than I have seen recently and even though he telegraphs his drops they are often effective. A see saw match which went to five when Neil got more consistent length and Mike started to make errors. Neil took the game. 3-2 and 3-0 to Beaconsfield.

Kev v Simon Clark

Kev still chastened by a certain excel spreadsheet was in a determined mood. Simon is a tidy player but in each game Kev had just enough to squeeze out a 3-0 win. Kevin's stats are improving just in time for the Plate in the Club Chumps.

Chris v Tom Paine

Tom lolloped and lobbed and seemed vaguely bored but I understand that this his usual fare. Chris was ready to run and retrieve and this paid off against an opponent without obvious killer shots. Chris played well and at 2-2 managed to take the fifth to win 3-2.

We won 5-0 and 19-4 and are peaking at precisely the wrong time! 
That's Kev for you!

Gazza

How's Yer Willy? (Part Three): Last Few Things

The latest from WKP.
As you can see, culturally sensitive as ever, he's been trying to integrate with the local dancing girls and is doing so seemlessly with his usual subtle panache and style... 
Don't tell Sue...


Last Few Things:
Engine is fixed and serviced, we are shopping for the last of the fresh produce and after taking on fuel and water tomorrow morning we will be off for the shake down sail to the Las Perlas islands which are about 35 miles away. First stop is Isla Contadora. This is a 35 mile day sail and will be a useful introduction to sailing this ketch. It is a very well equipped boat with mainsail in mast reefing and a furling headsail. Both these have all electric winches which is a new thing for me. We will do a second day sail within the Las Perlas and providing that goes well we will be off to the Galapagos, which is about 1000 miles and around a 10 day sail. More news later.

Match Reports: Lions v Holmer Green

The Lions ended their 2011/12 campaign this week against title hopefuls Holmer Green.
What a contrast the teams provided;

Lions - Tired, old, slow, unfit, injured, hanging on to past glories,

Holmer Green - Energetic, young, fast, fit, in their prime, full of promise

The only similarities between both teams were that they were decked out in fancy sponsored shirts and each had one spectator occupying the balcony

Onto the match (in the 3rd person as is now the style...)
HG have strength all the way through the team whereas Beaconsfield were without their No1 PB, so the odds were stacked against the Lions from the start.
HG 3 & 4 strings had to leave early for a road trip so were on first which meant for the first time this season Fernandez was on time and on court before his usual 9.30pm start time.

Nic took on the fast and furious Tor and DF was up against the fast and furious but slightly less cultured James Harley.
Manley started well hitting his trademark low hard cross court drives and tight volley winners 1-0
Fernandez started slowishly losing a close 1st 0-1
Manley in his efforts to move his bulk around the court trying to keep up with his whippet like opponent pulled a muscle so lost the 2nd badly but fought well in the 3rd losing a close 7-9 before capitulating 1-3.

Meanwhile Fernandez taking lessons from his mentors Foo and McNeil and with the maestro Alexander watching on, floated lifted flicked deceived and sometimes stuttered to a good victory 3-1 bewildering the young buck with a mix of slow slow quick quick slow.

CK at two was always in for a tough match v David Price. Similar in ability to their No1 he is a class act, tall powerfully built and very capable. Unfortunately CK could not get close and went down quickly in 3.

Treadwell (he of ginger pubes and car) was on v Alex Hartley at 1. Alex is Mark's bogey player as his game is not quite enough in every department against another very accomplished young player (Bucks County no5)
Despite a few old classic reverse angles and pokey trademark volleys the magic wasn't quite there and MT went down 0-3 

Talking of 'Magic' (did you see what I did there..) Toby was up at 5 after a long break from div 1 squash and was up against Ossie Mustapha. Both players are larger than the average bear but fast fit and give the ball a good whack. At 5 Ossie is almost unbeatable so this was a v.tough challenge for Johnson. After a weak 1st game letting his oppo dominate the play, he dug in for the 2nd and came close to taking a game. Unfortunately the momentum could not be sustained and the 3rd went away too quickly.
So a 17-4 loss, all over by 9.15, the normal Basmati slops (chaps - do we want this again next year..??), a couple of pints and all done by 10.30.

As it stands looks like we will be a creditable but distant 4th place of 8 teams after 21 matches..
The season was also notable for the lack of a regular Lions team with 20 players representing the Lions.
Thanks to everyone who played up.

Roll on the Club Champ's and Summer Racketball.

Thanks
Dirty 

Club Championships 2012

“The Way of Mastery is to break all the rules; but you have to know them perfectly before you can do this; otherwise you are not in a position to transcend them.” 
Aleister Crowley Magical and Philosophical Commentaries on The Book of the Law

It's that time of year again.
Delusions eh?
In our 'golden years' we might not open the batting for England, but we might still have a 'King Lear' in us and maybe, just maybe, this year could be the year that we snatch victory in the Club Champ's.
It's a great time of the year; spring is here, there's a spring in our step and those double dots are starting to warm up, prolonging the rallies and massaging our self regard and ambition.
Come on then, there's no fool like and old fool; get your name down.
Some preliminary rounds will be played April 17, 19, 23 & 25.
Main event: Friday 27th - Sunday 29th April.
There will be graded competition:
Men's A, B & C
Ladies A & B
Veteran (over 45)
Vintage (over 55)
Entry Fee: £6 or £10 for two events; £14 for three.
Make your payment behind the bar.
Entrants for Veterans and Vintage must be in (and paid for) by 10pm Friday April 13.
Ages are judged from 16/4/2012.
Entrants for Ladies and Mens must be in by 10pm Monday April 23.
The draw will be made on April 25.
A plate tournament will be run for all 1st round losers.
You can sign up online or talk to Stampy at the bar.
So come on you lot; indulge in court sprints, maybe even invest in a coaching session or two, throw your hat in the ring, and remember; there's no fool like an old fool; coulda, shoulda, neverdid...
Come gird your loins, harness your hubris and believe, really believe; forgo the fudge, postpone the pies, can the crisps, bottle the booze, raise your eyes to the heavens and bellow (nay, whisper) en masse:
"erm... could I possibly have a 'let' there please Bob?"

How's Yer Willy? (Part Two)

Part 2 of WKP's tale. Why not go direct to his BLOG here, or by the link in the 'header/intro at the top of the blog page.
http://willieinthesouthpacific.wordpress.com

We go through the canal tomorrow so all the little jobs need finishing off today. We are going through in one hop which means we finish up on the Pacific side at about 2 am looking for a mooring somewhere. Despite the fact that the owners of the boat have been through the canal twice so far, they are still a little nervous. Things can go wrong when the massive locks are filling and emptying, that can damage the boat or worse. I am looking forward to getting on the move so the next week in Panama finalising provisioning and doing another raft of last minute maintenance and checking of spares will see me champing at the bit to get moving and sailing the boat. There is a bit of a fishing competition shaping up. Myself with a lot of fancy lures that I have sourced in component form and rigged myself, versus a long thick line with the finger of a marigold washing up glove and a hook. I was very happy yesterday when we managed to install a rod holder for my gear aft on he port side. We just need to get the rest of the sushi kit in Panama and get catching and noshing.
The trip throught the canal proved very eventful. We left the marina in a force 8 gale which even made unberthing quite difficult. On the way across the big inner harbour we discovered that the engine would not deliver more than 1800 rpm which meant that we could only make 2 knts into the headwind. We had a couple of miles to motor before reaching the anchorage where we had to wait for our advisor who helps pilot you through the canal. While we were waiting for him we tried several things to see if we could make the engine perform properly.Unfortunately none of those worked, but fortunately the wind was behind us for the transit and off we went. The whole thing is an amazing feat of engineering. There are three locks on the way up. You share a lock with a merchant ship which doesn’ t fill the whole space. In our bit on the way up there were three yachts, a catamaran and two monohulls. You all get joined together in a sort of raft and each corner of the raft is tied to the top of the lock. When they start filling the lock there is a lot of turbulence and you need to work as a team with the people on the other boats to make sure you manage all the lines so that your raft stays off the lock walls and doesn’t spin around. As you go up you are rewarded with better and better views of the Atlantic coast dropping away beneath you.







At the top of the locks on the way up, you emerge into a very big lake called Lake Gatun. The channel was marked all the way through and it was dark before we arrived at any of the down locks. I think there were four of them, which we transited uneventfully. On emerging we continued further down the channel to our anchorage at La Playita.
At La Playita we are at anchor about 400 yards outside the marina which makes everything quite difficult when it comes to shopping and socialising. There have been lots of jobs to do on board in final preparation for setting off. The four major ones so far have been : reprogramming the instruments that record how much battery power remains and how well the generator is recharging the batteries, fixing leaks in the rubber dinghy, fixing a faulty switch for lowering and raising the anchor and fixing a useful little instrrument that measures the amount of anchor chain that is outside the boat. All those have gone well and the engineer showed up today to service the engine and hopefully fix the faulty turbo which is restricting our power.
The other thing that happened today was that we moved to a mooring in Balboa Yacht Club. That means that we are serviced by a little launch that brings us in and out so no need for the dinghy for now. Once we leave here, there are no more marinas and our only means of reaching land will be the dinghy. Also here we have internet access which is why I am bashing off such a long post. The mooring is interesting. We are only about 100 meters from the main shipping channel exiting the canal into the Pacific. We are also only a few hundred meters downstream of the Bridge of The Americas. The photo shows a little of what it is like.



Tomorrow we finish servicing the engine and get more provisions. We are trying to provision the boat for about 4 months, so there is food stuffed everywhere. Having said that each cupboard or locker or store under the floor has a number and a corresponding list of contents which are listed on a laminated sheet, so if you are the cook, you should be able to find things without continually asking.
This is the season for doing this passage and a lot of yachts and catamarans are gathering here to make the crossing to Australia or New Zealand. There is a sort of social group called ‘ The Pacific Puddle Jump’ which aims to offer support and organise socials along the way. We are signed up to it and came to a party to kick it off here on Saturday afternoon. We got our flag and had our picture taken.



I will try to do a final post before we cast off. After that posts will depend on the availability of internet. I hope to keep an off line diary and upload it when I can. With a bit of luck, we will be on our way in a few days.

http://willieinthesouthpacific.wordpress.com

Match Report: Super 2nds v Bears

Bears Water Fallow Ground


Gazza v Jo

I didn't have a good feeling inside and played as nervously as Jo played well and I lost the first game. Clouds were appearing! Managed to take the next 2 games to calm the nerves and keep the vultures at bay who would have loved to see me lose to Jo. All went wrong in the forth with Jo closing it out and at 5-5 in the fifth I pictured Steve and Carol Smalley making a point of coming of coming into my office the next day and remarking smugly "Jo's playing well isn't she?" It was enough to spur me and I won the last game 9-6 I think.

Richard v Seb

A hum-dinger by all accounts which I didn't see but at 2-2 all Richard went 8-0 up in the 5th only for Seb to peg it back all the way to 8-8 and on for the win. Well done Seb, one to watch for ageing 40/50 year old, balding and overweight players. Most of the male membership then!

Chris v Toby Bear

An anti climax as Toby twisted his ankle I think during the 2nd game and Chris with endless running mercilessly put Toby out of his misery quickly to record a 3-0 win.

Neil v Ollie

Well, Neil just had too much in his tool-kit for Ollie - it wasn't pretty, it wasn't clever but Ollie seemed at a loss of how to get into each game. Neil won comfortably 3-0.

Kev v Dave

A good match with Dave playing well and up for battle. Kev spurred on my his poor stats on our team's results discovered that he did care about winning and he managed to win 3 close games to win 3-0,

4-1 win and 18-5 

Gareth

How's Yer Willy? (Part One)

Sorry for the gap in updates. All the farewells are spoken, the going away party thrown and cleared up. Thanks everyone for coming and thanks for all the individual messages of support from those who offered them. You know who you are and they are very welcome. It is very interesting because going away on a trip like this seems to bring relationships into focus and people have been very supportive and genuine in their well wishing for me and their offers of support for Sarah.

My journey to Panama went mostly according to plan. It took over two hours to clear immigration in Miami. I was met by our other “crew” at the airport in Panama which was kind and de- stressed finding the boat etc. He negotiated what looked like half price with the taxi, which fell apart at the marina when the driver refused the agreed fare and threatened the police etc if we didn’t pay what he demanded. There must be a taxi driver gene that is ubiquitous around the world causing tourists to be ripped off and pissed off.

The owners and my crewmate are all great and the vibe is good. That can always change of course, but right now I am totally comfortable with all the people with whom I will share this adventure. That is a big hurdle. Time has been spent so far provisioning the boat with trips to the “local” supermarket 15 miles away. We fitted the foresail yesterday which has been in storage for a year. It is a sign of the owners preparedness , that when we discovered some scratches on the sail that potentially could become rips, we could choose which of the two sewing machines we have on the boat that was best and repair the sail on the pontoon prior to hoisting it. The picture below says it all.

My job today has been a bit of IT support setting up software on a laptop that will enable us to pick up e-mail and weather reports when on the longer passages. The laptops have not been used for about a year so there are a lot of software updates and glitches to straighten out. Fortunately that was successful.

If everything goes according to plan, then we transit the canal on Tuesday 6th March and spend about one more week in Panama finishing off the boat preparations and provisionin,before a shake down cruise to the Las Perlas islands which will be our jumping off point for the Galapagos. I will try to post again before we leave Panama.

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We're All Animals!

Not squash I know but it is a chuckle and might help us understand each other better...
If this doesn't make you laugh you are Nic Manley...
Click here...

Junior Club Night: Sports Relief meets St Patrick's Day: Underwear Compulsory...

Dear Member,   

Come join us for a very special Junior Club Night on the 17^th March to include a Sports Relief fundraiser.

The children play in their PJ’s (underwear compulsory!!) to raise funds for Sports Relief, £1 for members and £3 for non member (this includes the £2 club fee) with £1 per player going to Sports Relief.

Bonus for Parents -  Bring the kids along to the Junior Club Night and watch the England V’s Ireland game on our big screen.

It has not escaped us that it is also St Patrick’s Day,  come and celebrate with us into the night with a supper (bolognese and chilli ), music with an Irish flavour (courtesy of our very own Trevor Jones), and flowing Guinness.

Wear something green for £1 with all proceeds going to Sports Relief.

Register with Dave or Chris for a fun night.

Junior Club Night start time 5:00pm

Supper – children £3 and adults £6

first sitting  6:30pm

Second sitting 8:00pm

We look forward to seeing you.

Regards

Deborah Holmes

Lions v Chesham Bois 2

Match V CBII

Mark v Owen Riddall      3/1         7/9 9/2 9/1 9/1

Nic v Simon Ross              3/1         10/8 9/6 2/9 9/3

Neil v Neil Hinds               3/2         7/9 9/8 9/3 7/9 9/4

Kevin v Dan Glenn           1/3         9/0 2/9 8/10 3/9

Jim v Peter East                0/3         5/9 2/9 2/9

We won 3/2 or 14/10

Nic

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Dirty elaborates:

So, a few guest appearances for the Pride this week resulting in a nice surprise, a WIN!, & a not so nice surprise - a hammering of the bar bill!

Red Mane & No Man went hunting first (cos we were actually on time!) Treaders took on another sprightly young gazelle but despite an interesting early chase ended in a swift kill.

Nic thought he'd like the taste of a gnarled old wildebeest. A little kick in the teeth in the 3rd but eventually he went for the throat & the gnu died nearly as swiftly as the gazelle.  We'll never hear the last of Nic winning at no. 2!

Jim felt a little exposed on the plains & his prey easily evaded him leaving him hungry & irritable.

Neil, our adolescent hunter, still learning his trade, was up against a wiley old giraffe. The chase was long & hard but eventually gave us the satiety the pride needed, & also took the pressure off our lagging, ageing acting lion who was up next. Well done!

So, Mearsy. He shows his teeth a lot, he runs a lot, & works hard. What can I say? The killer instinct is missing! He'd rather drink from the watering hole than feast on the blood of his kill.

Thanks for stepping in guys. We are now up to 20 players for the season!
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Mears adds:
Alas the 1st team ‘watering hole’ appears to be somewhat of an oasis.

Beaconsfield Squash Club has been renowned over the years for its great hospitality.  

Having played twice for the first (and yes lost both times), I have been surprised that on both occasions the bar ‘tab’ has been shut prematurely, while guests are still on the premises and, yes it’s been before the 11:00 curfew.

On both occasions the banter was in full flow and it is exactly the atmosphere that we should be encouraging.  Further drinks had to be purchased by individuals.

Comments and views welcome.........

Bulls v Chesham Bois Juniors

Bulls' 20 Word Match Reports


Piggin:

Mike:  seemed determined to hit the ball through the front wall for most of the game, except on the quite frequent shots smacked into the tin. (not 10 words!)

Me: (St Pig): played fairly well, exploiting the youngster's loose hard hitting and error rate, (12 words!)

Trev: 

Simon: Average talent; slightly more average than mine. Nice hair too.

Trev: First ten minutes: genius; last thirty: wastrel. Hair bested Simon's.


Natalie:
Me: Long rallies, fast running, had hitting, close match, very tired.
Tim: Tall, fast, powerful, dodgy knee, 2-1 up; bottled it.


Coops:
Coops cruised into early control, taking the first with ease but Tom’s in form and his volley and boast game got better and better, culminating with a great performance in the 4^th. Bollox! (32 words!)


Camel (from the balcony):
Five crackingly close encounters, fought in fine spirit. 
A potent mix of youth versus experience, the Juniors edging it 3-2.