Back Pages: Turds v Aylesbury 2 (17/10/2006)

17/10/06

Squash 3rds v Aylesbury 2 (Away) Lost 6-15

Steve 'Call that a knife?' Kinsella v S Townsend (0-3) 

Steve played squash while his partner played badminton; confusing for everyone, but very watchable. Townsend's very effective game, all limp wristed flicks and dolly drops, lacked the testorine required to motivate the meekest antipodean. Poor Steve didn't know whether to fight him or f**k him!

Trevor 'Uh?' Jones v C Bartlett (3-1) 

Everyone in gallery heard my oppo's hamstring twang in the warm up. I didn't and spent the next 40 minutes trying to work out his odd footwork/game-plan/mindgames. I think I've been hanging around WKP too much.

Roger '100%' Taylor v K Hodges (3-1) 

Roger, jetting in specially for the event, battled well in a tight and very competitive ...pair of shorts... sorry, match. There were a couple of pivotal moments: Roger very unhappy with being taken from behind by his opponent for the 2nd week running. (Apparently it's better to give than receive...captain’s suggestion: looser fitting shorts or improve the drop shot) Also, some  excellent subliminal motivation from his watching team mates, with the orchestrated chant/whisper of 'vodaphone, vodaphone' which had the desired effect; rolling eyes and much drooling, terrifying poor Kev into submission. 

Match of the day!

Mark ''Is that it?' Vickery v A Woodger (0-3) 

Mark only lasted 20 minutes, which his wife assures us isn't bad for him! I didn't see his performance but could hear the moans of displeasure from the car park. Only needs match practice...give him a ring!

Tim 'Windy' Westall v D O'Conner (0-3) 

Tim battled gallantly but was doomed once Des O'Connor took the cardy off. Des, who's filled out a bit since his Palladium glory days, still rocks; but gently.

Note: Tim gets 'sick note of the week' for his novel '8 currys in 4 days' excuse. Not surprised poor Des wanted off court asap!

We have the next couple of weeks off. There is talk of a training session  on a Wed night with the 2nd team. I'll keep you posted.

Cheers,

Trev.