It
was entirely predictable when the fixture list was revealed way back in
August that having our last match away at Buckingham was always going
to be tricky to crew. Little did I realize just how creative my fine
bunch of talented players would be when it came to avoiding the hard
yards of an hour’s drive to the middle of nowhere on a cold Tuesday
evening: 4 injuries, 2 on holiday, 1 on business, and 2 with babies. In
the words of Super Sub Jon Bullard: “blimey - you must be desperate to
call me.” How right he was.
The thing
is, it didn’t really matter. We’d already made our point by beating the
Tigers (sorry, did I mention that we beat the Tigers 4-1? Couldn’t
remember) and finishing second or third in the division was academic.
We’ve had a good season, and by the time it came to driving to
Buckingham, for most of us the war was over. The game was an
opportunity for some to play higher than we normally do, and for others
to play at all. So in this regard, it turned out to be a very
satisfactory evening. Which is code for “we lost to the worst team in
the division”, but Lady Bear isn’t the only spin doctor around here.
After
several frantic phone calls over the weekend, the team finally consisted
of Adam, myself, Phil Collings, John Bullard and, for the first time,
young Harry Chapples. We actually got off to a prompt start, as of
course we had left way too much time get to the north pole and arrived
early. Phil went on against Darren Trotter and from the off looked
hungry for his first win on the season. He drives the ball powerfully
and when he believes he can dominate an opponent he can be a very tricky
proposition, as Coops found out earlier in the season. Too often this
season, however, that belief hasn’t been there but it was tonight.
Despite a feisty Aussie opponent he produced some quality squash and ran
out a well-deserved 3-0 winner. We expect great things of him next
season (no pressure, Phil!)
Next door
saw the first of what I am sure will be many team appearances by Harry
Chapples, deputizing for his father who had crooked himself again,
probably sneezing or something like. It happens when you reach a certain
age. At 15, Harry is one of the next promising generation we seem to
have at the club. Anyone playing down at the club on a Saturday
afternoon can attest to the thriving nature of junior squash at
Beaconsfield, and so it was with a great deal of pleasure that I was
able to give Harry his first taste of Bucks division squash. It would
have been a bit of a downer if he’d been cuffed 3-0 and got a small
handful of points, but Phil Davies proved a perfect opponent.
Harry was
easily the better technical player, but Phil was way more experienced in
court craft. The learning curve was steep, and Harry could almost have
had a whole game’s worth of lets and strokes which he mysteriously
didn’t call for. Yet he could and maybe should have won it. The passage
of play to take the third game would have beaten any no.5 in the
division, but he needs to learn to produce that quality consistently and
to fight for every point. It went against every instinct in my body but
afterwards I told him to go watch Mears in a team match for an object
lesson in how not to give up. Before you throw your hands in the air and
protest that I am corrupting the poor child, I also told him to ignore
everything else Napolean does on court. I’m not that stupid. Phil
eventually ran out a 3-2 winner, and told me afterwards he was mightily
relieved. Harry will have learnt buckets-full from that match and will
only get better.
So, could
have been 2-0 up but was nicely poised for Adam and John Bullard to take
the stage. By recruiting Harry, the average age of the team had
threatened to halve, but mercifully Mr B was on hand to ensure it only
rose by a little bit. He ran hard and tried all the tricks his years of
experience had bestowed, but was up against Angus Roache who never
stopped running and it was all a bit much. 0-3, but I am hugely grateful
that he stepped into the breach to help a beleaguered captain.
On the other
court, Adam was up against Torven Kuseler , who had a most un-Teutonic
sense of humour which was rather to Adam’s liking. Torven wasn’t scoring
too many points, but there were repeated gales of laughter coming from
the court, so clearly someone was having fun. At one point I looked over
to see Torven running around with his arms aloft in a Beckenbauer-type
celebration. Turned out he’s registered his first point of the evening.
Hard to have too much dignity when you are up against our number 1.
I’d been
talking to Harry in the changing room about the importance of digging in
and bringing home the bacon for the team. In the immensely irritating
way that life pans out sometimes, I found myself in the unenviable
position of having to do just that with the match poised at 2-2 and all
eyes – including an expectant Harry – on me to avoid defeat. Oh
bollocks. 2 is too high a position for me unless I am really in the
groove, and I wasn’t. Up against Dom West, who went on to beat Piggin
the week after, I was utterly out-gunned. His movement wasn’t great, but
put the ball anywhere near him and he didn’t half smack it.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of trying to play the game at his pace
and as such my accuracy went to a ball of chalk, thus making the
situation even worse. Adam afterwards told me I should have slowed the
game right down with some teasing high tight shots. Great. Where was
that advice between games? Stairs too steep? I remembered why I don’t
give pep talk duties to Adam. To spare my total misery, Harry was too
polite to ask how to spell B-A-C-O-N.
So, a 3-2
(13-8) loss which wasn’t a great way to end the season but it didn’t
matter a jot to either team. Nice to send them on their way to Division 3
with happy memories, though, and they were in a splendid mood in the
curry house afterwards. Why - we were even allowed a second drink! The
food was good, the banter excellent, and we were in no hurry to embark
on that long journey home. This is what team squash is all about. That,
and beating the Tigers. Did I mention that we beat them 4-1…?
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