Welcome. This is an unofficial blog for Beaconsfield squash club.
Here you'll be able to access info about team matches, keep tabs on divisional positions,
and get updates on squash and racketball events and any forthcoming social activity.
It could also be the place to start (and end) rumours, and indulge in healthy banter.
There's bound to be the odd thing that offends; but that's alright isn't it, us being adults?
If you're truly miffed just email me and I'll remove the offending article.
You'll also be able to post a blog yourself; I am your host so, simply email me your piece/rant/match report/poetry/recipe for tripe to:
trev@lisacottage.demon.co.uk
I'll put it up 'in the cloud' and folk will then be able to comment or heckle...
So come on, email your pieces or add your comments below what is already posted there.

Wednesday 3 April 2013

Bears v Buckingham Last Gasp of the Season for the Bears

It was entirely predictable when the fixture list was revealed way back in August that having our last match away at Buckingham was always going to be tricky to crew. Little did I realize just how creative my fine bunch of talented players would be when it came to avoiding the hard yards of an hour’s drive to the middle of nowhere on a cold Tuesday evening: 4 injuries, 2 on holiday, 1 on business, and 2 with babies. In the words of Super Sub Jon Bullard: “blimey - you must be desperate to call me.” How right he was.
 
The thing is, it didn’t really matter. We’d already made our point by beating the Tigers (sorry, did I mention that we beat the Tigers 4-1? Couldn’t remember) and finishing second or third in the division was academic. We’ve had a good season, and by the time it came to driving to Buckingham, for most of us the war was over. The game was an opportunity for some to play higher than we normally do, and for others to play at all. So in this regard, it turned out to be a very satisfactory evening. Which is code for “we lost to the worst team in the division”, but Lady Bear isn’t the only spin doctor around here.
 
After several frantic phone calls over the weekend, the team finally consisted of Adam, myself, Phil Collings, John Bullard and, for the first time, young Harry Chapples. We actually got off to a prompt start, as of course we had left way too much time get to the north pole and arrived early. Phil went on against Darren Trotter and from the off looked hungry for his first win on the season. He drives the ball powerfully and when he believes he can dominate an opponent he can be a very tricky proposition, as Coops found out earlier in the season. Too often this season, however, that belief hasn’t been there but it was tonight. Despite a feisty Aussie opponent he produced some quality squash and ran out a well-deserved 3-0 winner. We expect great things of him next season (no pressure, Phil!)
 
Next door saw the first of what I am sure will be many team appearances by Harry Chapples, deputizing for his father who had crooked himself again, probably sneezing or something like. It happens when you reach a certain age. At 15, Harry is one of the next promising generation we seem to have at the club. Anyone playing down at the club on a Saturday afternoon can attest to the thriving nature of junior squash at Beaconsfield, and so it was with a great deal of pleasure that I was able to give Harry his first taste of Bucks division squash. It would have been a bit of a downer if he’d been cuffed 3-0 and got a small handful of points, but Phil Davies proved a perfect opponent.
 
Harry was easily the better technical player, but Phil was way more experienced in court craft. The learning curve was steep, and Harry could almost have had a whole game’s worth of lets and strokes which he mysteriously didn’t call for. Yet he could and maybe should have won it. The passage of play to take the third game would have beaten any no.5 in the division, but he needs to learn to produce that quality consistently and to fight for every point. It went against every instinct in my body but afterwards I told him to go watch Mears in a team match for an object lesson in how not to give up. Before you throw your hands in the air and protest that I am corrupting the poor child, I also told him to ignore everything else Napolean does on court. I’m not that stupid. Phil eventually ran out a 3-2 winner, and told me afterwards he was mightily relieved. Harry will have learnt buckets-full from that match and will only get better.
 
So, could have been 2-0 up but was nicely poised for Adam and John Bullard to take the stage. By recruiting Harry, the average age of the team had threatened to halve, but mercifully Mr B was on hand to ensure it only rose by a little bit. He ran hard and tried all the tricks his years of experience had bestowed, but was up against Angus Roache who never stopped running and it was all a bit much. 0-3, but I am hugely grateful that he stepped into the breach to help a beleaguered captain.
 
On the other court, Adam was up against Torven Kuseler , who had a most un-Teutonic sense of humour which was rather to Adam’s liking. Torven wasn’t scoring too many points, but there were repeated gales of laughter coming from the court, so clearly someone was having fun. At one point I looked over to see Torven running around with his arms aloft in a Beckenbauer-type celebration. Turned out he’s registered his first point of the evening. Hard to have too much dignity when you are up against our number 1.
 
I’d been talking to Harry in the changing room about the importance of digging in and bringing home the bacon for the team. In the immensely irritating way that life pans out sometimes, I found myself in the unenviable position of having to do just that with the match poised at 2-2 and all eyes – including an expectant Harry – on me to avoid defeat. Oh bollocks. 2 is too high a position for me unless I am really in the groove, and I wasn’t. Up against Dom West, who went on to beat Piggin the week after, I was utterly out-gunned. His movement wasn’t great, but put the ball anywhere near him and he didn’t half smack it. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of trying to play the game at his pace and as such my accuracy went to a ball of chalk, thus making the situation even worse. Adam afterwards told me I should have slowed the game right down with some teasing high tight shots. Great. Where was that advice between games? Stairs too steep? I remembered why I don’t give pep talk duties to Adam. To spare my total misery, Harry was too polite to ask how to spell B-A-C-O-N.
 
So, a 3-2 (13-8) loss which wasn’t a great way to end the season but it didn’t matter a jot to either team. Nice to send them on their way to Division 3 with happy memories, though, and they were in a splendid mood in the curry house afterwards. Why - we were even allowed a second drink! The food was good, the banter excellent, and we were in no hurry to embark on that long journey home. This is what team squash is all about. That, and beating the Tigers. Did I mention that we beat them 4-1…?

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