Bears 4 for 1
Ever the efficient Captain (well, that’s what my co-pilots say when I make them do all the work), here are the match reports from the first four Bears contests of the season. Won just one, but points accumulated in the other matches against the injury odds mean we aren’t moaning. Unlike some others, who really should learn to be as contented with their lot in life…
1) Chesham Old Farts (home) : lost 2-3 (14-7)
The evening got off to a bad start when young Seb Monson pitched up with his right hand bandaged up after some future Tory cabinet minister from Harrow stamped on his hand in a scrum. Utter b*****d. Seb tried his best but couldn’t hit more than a couple of balls so Aubery had a walk-over. Honours were even over the remaining 4 matches, with Adam walking it (take that as read for all future reports) against Peter Smith, me playing too high at 2 but giving Richard Eaton-Hart a run for his money at 1-3, Richard Graham showing a little inexperience in rushing a match against Steve Hunt he could and should have won, and young Alex Speculand making his team debut at 5 and winning 3-1 after finally deciding that a guy in a leg brace really needed smacking off court (Neil Thomas).
2) Chesham Upstarts (away) : lost again 2-3 (13-7)Yet again we were cursed by an injury on the night, with Olly “MFI” Reeves discovering that the physio on his calf hadn’t quite worked in time. Of the remaining 4 matches, Adam was imperious against Chris Wildman (terrible to see a young man suffer like that, and I don’t mean Adam); and Phil “The Saviour” Alexander utterly bamboozled Sam Mueller, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. The lower order, however, couldn’t match the lead and Phil Collings (also a debutant this season) started promisingly against Simon Ackers - a man seemingly determined to burst the ball every time he served it – but lost out 1-3 in a game high on testosterone but low on subtlety. It fell to me at 4 to win it, and I did have high hopes as I was against Phil Williams whom I”d beaten last year when he spectacularly imploded halfway through my fightback. Unfortunately, this year the Good Phil turned up and I didn’t have the accuracy to get the ball past him. Inconsiderate b*****d.
3) RAF (away) : smashed them 5-0 (19-3)Not much to say about this one. This was the strongest team I will put out in the whole season and the RAF are one of the weakest teams in the division now Paul Warner isn’t playing for them. Adam ran riot against Phil Rea (though did lose a game, tut tut), The Saviour utterly bamboozed Lee Cobley to almost comic proportions; Dave “Prodigal Son” Powell returned to the fold from a sojourn Down Under and relied heavily on years of talent and training rather than court currency and fitness (is that a polite way of putting it?); and Andrew Egan relied heavily on his bionic wrist rather than court currency and fitness (ie. lazy b*****d). I had just got back from a trip and was still somewhere over the Sahara in the first game but woke up to finish my man off comfortably.
4) Holmer Green 2 (home) : lost 1-4 (17-5)Shame we couldn’t put the same team out two days later. HG2 are a strong team and had whipped the Bulls 4-1 the previous week. We would have loved to do better, but it appears we are no stronger than the Bulls are over the distance. Olly tried his hobbling best against Mark “two yards of tap water” Merrit (as Bullard has memorably described him) and got off to a 9-0 flyer, before the lack of fitness / stamina / talent (delete as appropriate) kicked in. I played the wiley veteran campaigner Darren Thompson at 3 and should have done a lot better than losing 1-3, but I was flat-footed and Darren anything but. One of those games where everywhere I put it Darren was there. Irritating b******d. Inspector Chapples made his first appearance for the Bears at 4, but looked short of match practice against Nick Saegar. Richard Graham played some lovely squash and the 0-3 defeat by Dave Albin doesn’t do him justice, especially when he had game point in the first. Getting closer to that first win.
The only high point of the evening was a stunning match between Adam and Ross Butler. I doubt I’ll witness a higher quality game in the division this year. The skill levels, speed and accuracy were astonishing, and the number of times we thought shots were winners only to be somehow retrieved and turned into attack was gobsmacking. It would have been an utter pleasure to watch if I didn’t have to mark it and make split-second decisions with players moving at lightening speeds and picking balls up an inch off the floor right at the front. I shudder to think of the carnage if Davies or Jones had marked it. Adam eventually ran out a magnificent 3-1 winner and the only shame is that there weren’t more people there to watch it.
So, overall disappointing not to turn those close losses into wins but we’re mid-table and looking forward to taking on the Tiger Puffs on Thursday. There are lots of positives for us: Adam remains an inspiration on and off the court; the highlight of any match is the look on opponents’ faces when playing The Saviour; Dave Powell will be unstoppable once he’s got his fitness back; Olly’s calf has to heal at some point in the season, and I’ve a fine crop of new and emerging players at 4 & 5. So, unless Gareth “thieving b******d” Ashington gets his filthy hands on my best players, things are looking good for the Bears….
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