Beaconsfield's 'Parents of the Year' Award

Competition was particularly stiff this year...

And the winners are...

Lions v Chesham Bois

Dan Fernandez writes:

On Weds l turned up for the Lions match v Chesham Bois and it appeared that the band members of YMCA had taken over.

Nic together with debutant Jim Cooper both looked queer as coots with their handlebar moustaches, closely cropped hair and tight shorts/strange walk combo. Paul looked like a fairy with frills decorating the end of his shorts. I'm a doppelganger for Jimmy Somerville and Mark is ginger so obviously gay.

Frivolities over we set about CB.
Mark played the human dynamo Tim King and was involved in a cracking match. Tim has improved and rarely loses but MT was on fire playing the ball early and hitting some great kills. Winning 1st then went 6-1 up in next only for Tim to claw his way back with great retrieving and long quality rallies. Unfortunately this was the pattern of the next 3 games as Mark made a strong start to each game only to be pipped to the post. 1-3.

Jim looking felching in black was up v Peter East. JC started well winning 1st but then game became a bit of a slog fest. Rather than looking at Nic thinking of the post match fun in the showers he should have listened to his words of wisdom to vary the pace. 1-3.

Paul took on upcoming county youngsterJonny Maloney who is trying to get a UK squash ranking and training 4 hrs a day. It didn't do him any good as he was well beaten by PB who put him under too much pressure forcing his opponent into many errors. 3-0.

Nic played Dan Colquhorn at 3. A tough-ask and a match we were not expecting much out of. Nic had other ideas really playing well and playing some great shots. Winning 1st could a surprise be on the cards? At 1-1 and 7-1 up we thought so. Unfortunately Dan dug in, ran well and avoided the unforced errors of earlier and won a hard 3-1.

At 5 l was up v Sam Pothwecary who resembles Mr Tickle and about half my age. Having joined the Beaconsfield Velos for a trip thru the Chilterns on Sunday l was feeling fit and got into my stride quickly going 2-0 up. Pushing on in 3rd l managed to get to 8-1. Then Sam staged a strong come back and the game went 9-10, as did 4th. Big effort in 5th and won 3-2.

So a 2-3 defeat (9-15) but some good individual performances to take forward into December.

Bears 2 for 1 Chesham Bois/Booker 2

Two for One – Bears Bounce Back

Two matches in a week………. and for the first time I’ve been able to pick the same team two weeks on the trot and probably our strongest team yet to boot, namely Adam Pyne, Dave Powell, Phil Alexander, Jo Smalley and myself. The difference is amazing: two 5-0 wins which propels us way up the table and into a very comfortable place. The same team and same result next week could see us challenge even higher. First up last week was Chesham Bois Juniors, but I had another commitment in the first part of the evening so arrived late. Accordingly, please welcome our guest columnist Lady Bear, and before you read her report remember that she is a PR Spin Doctor for a national utility provider. Just for your information, you understand.

1) Chesham Bois Juniors – home (won 19-8)

The Bears had a new order, and Lady Bear had been given strict instructions to win, as to quote Captain Bear ‘Quite a few eyebrows were raised when I ranked you above me’.  Well.  I hope Chesham Juniors were ready as I unleashed the fury.

So I was on court first (at number 4.  Eyebrows were being raised) against Pete Stevenson, a man who could only be described as ‘keen’.  He actually arrived 20 minutes before the match started (unheard of!) and was chomping at the bit to get on court at 7.40.  I was slightly worried that we might actually be finished by the time the rest of my team showed up.  And judging by my performance in the 1st, this was a very real possibility.  I was terrible.  The pressure was clearly too much.  All those eyebrows were justified.  How would I ever show my face again.  So I went into ‘grind it out’ mentality.  It wasn’t clever, it wasn’t pretty, but I won 3-2.  Only to be told by our ever-supportive number one, Adam, that I played terrible squash.  But hey, I still won at 4! *blows raspberry*.

Whilst I was grinding out my hour long victory, Dave Powell was triumphant at two against the ever confusing Tom the Elder, who can create shots out of nothing.  Apparently, Dave managed to nullify this approach and ran out 3-2 winner.

Adam followed me on court at 1, and proceeded to give Tom the Younger a lesson in tight, mobile squash.  A wee bit of ‘d1cking about’™ and show-boating did occur (and quite a lot of chat, both directed at himself and the crowd), but true class showed through and Adam was an easy 3-0 victor. The Bears go 3-0 up!!

Next on court was the wizard himself, Phil ‘Koko’ Alexander at 3.  After last week’s performance when he never really got going, he seemed determined to make amends and went on to stun his opponent, the ever so tall, and completely ankle-less Andy Piper, with the famous top spin drop.  There were shots that even made the balcony go the wrong way.  It was completely frustrating, and it worked. An element of panic from the crowd at 2-2, but Koko was determined – 3-2!! 4-0 to the bears!

So last on was our illustrious captain, who came up against the teeny-tiny and ever so talented Amy Jones.  This is the girl who at 11 won a match at a senior county competition.  She is proper good.  And approximately a quarter of the weight and height of Captain Bear.  It was most definitely a case of little and large.  And in the knock up, the class was definitely coming from Amy’s side of the court.  However, Captain Bear had other ideas and won the first 9-0.  The big bully.  However, the tables were soon turned.  True class will out, and Amy stunned Captain with her retrieving and fantastic length.  He was all at sea.  Dave Powell was marking, and trying to drum up as many people as possible to come and watch the capitulation of our distinguished leader.  However, Captain Bear realised that he would never, ever, ever live down a beating by a 13 year old girl, and pulled out all the stops to run out a not-very convincing 3-2 victor.  However, he did very nearly get beaten by a 13 year old girl (did I mention that she was 13, and a girl, and she nearly won?).

5-0 to the Bears! Get in!!!  I see a reversal of our fortunes ahead. 

2) Booker 2 – away (won 19-7)

I was hoping that they’d all forgotten about Amy when we pitched up at Booker, but fat chance. The topic of conversation rarely strayed from 13 yr old girls all evening. Though not in the Jimmy Savile way, you appreciate. I believe it’s called ‘cameraderie’?

Booker are strong and riding high in the division, having won it last year but declined to go up. A good decision too, as they were suffering from a couple of injuries and absences with neither Mark nor George playing. We, on the other hand, were at full power. Adam carried on his showboating / ranting display from last week, though to qualify as a true Lazy Git genius he has to get the balance right and stop losing the odd game through playing squash - technically speaking - like a knob. 3-1

First up on the other court was Phil Alexander, who is turning the slow start into an art form. Up against fellow vintage Temple team member Dave Dunbar (who is ranked above Phil so maybe a point to prove?), Phil spent the first game looking for his glasses. It’s either clever reverse psychology or he should park the car a mile from the club and run the last bit in just to crank the old body into life sooner. Either way, he found his touch in the second game and never looked back, the topspin drop once more particularly lethal. 3-1

Round 2 saw Jo out to stick two fingers up at the squash world again, this time against Duncan Swallow who had beaten her last year. Opposite to last week: storming start (Booker members on the balcony observing that “she’s really good”, which you just know was a preamble to ripping large amounts of piss out of a fellow member for being beaten by a girl), then rubbish for two games, before digging in and cutting and dropping an exhausted Duncan into submission. 3-2

Dave Powell was next door, in what turned out to be the best quality match of the evening. It was a real contrast of styles, with DP all flashes of utter brilliance and sheer brutality up against Matt Allanson, who played very simple, straightforward squash absolutely superbly. The minute DP put anything loose, Matt dispatched it with a clinical lack of fuss. At times, the backhand drop corner was like a ritualistic sacrifice area, with DP put to the sword by a guy who looked like a slightly slimmer version of the main character of ‘Family Guy’. In the end, DP’s sledgehammer was just too powerful and he prevailed 3-2.

So by now the match was in the bag which you would have thought took the pressure off me, but there is still the small matter of not being the only one to lose. At least this week I didn’t have the extra pressure of having to retire from the club in shame if I didn’t win . I was up against Tim Bark-Jones, a tall thin young (though not quite as young as Amy) lad who didn’t stop running. Luckily for me, he didn’t know what to do with the ball once he got to it, and ended up putting it in the tin lots of times. I wasn’t complaining, though I was in the third having eased off at 2-0 up and paid the penalty. It was hot and bouncy, and the bugger just kept running. Hurrah for a second wind, however, and I got my T-act together in the 4^th and bullied a length which Tim couldn’t cope with. A convincing 9-5 made it 3-1, and can I just point out that the final set against Amy was 9-4? Just saying...

All good stuff, and to dispose of the team second in the league 5-0 was no mean achievement. The Bears are back, and if we can keep this core of a team for the next few matches at least, all will be well in our garden. Told you it would come right. Just as well the Club Captain isn’t a Russian billionaire, otherwise I’d have been sacked by now.

Lack of Talent Night: This Sat: November 24th: Come See Bob's New Guitar

The other night Bob 'Ten Thumbs' Heard was asking me to recommend guitars so that he could develop as a player.
I suggested this little baby.
I hope that he brings it on Saturday night...

AND there will be free POPCORN...

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION: FREE DOWNLOAD

I'm not sure if you know that I write songs.

Sing them.

Release albums under my band's name Miracle Mile and also solo stuff under the imaginative moniker of... 'Jones'.

Times are hard.

It seems that music is no longer legal tender.

We're all giving it away.

The way to make a living out of music these days is gigs and t-shirt sales apparently.

I'm currently on a one gig every five year rotation and the only t-shirt of interest that I have to offer is a black Marks & Spencers thermal 'V' neck that's a little tight around the mid-riff.

Cash offers or swapsies...

As you can see from the disfiguring banner (right), you can now download my latest album 'Ghost of Song' for free.

You can just listen to it you want to...

You can make 'donations' I believe but I'll leave that to you and your conscience...

The real hope is that you good folk might start connecting this site (or my download page on the mother site 'NoiseTrade') with your mates via Twitter/Facebook/Email etc.

Christ, my lips are moving but I don't really know what I'm saying...

Maybe you could all assist me by just doing that networking thing...

All help would be much appreciated.

Cheers,

Trev

Lions v Holmer Green

So the vagueries of the fixtures calendar saw the Lions take on Holmer Green for the 2nd time in a week.
As promised HG turned up the court heating to sauna levels in an attempt to ensure their young team (ave age 27) could reverse the 4-1 defeat the previous week.
The additional heat blunted our 3-stroke rally policy vigorously adopted by the aging but classy Lions (ave age 42).

Paul played Alex Hartley (again) and won 3-0 (again). Alex whilst trying his best is outclassed by our kiwi vet (just turned 40) and is almost beaten before he goes on court.
In an attempt to rest Mark from the top of the order and get him back to winning ways, Matt Burnett came in at 2 against Tor (who Mark had beaten the week before). Although starting well, Matt with some lovely stroke play, was eventually overcome by the determined Bok whose simple driving game and fantastic speed saw Matt off 0-3.
Mark at no3 was too strong for James Harley winning 3-0 and putting the smile back on his face. He nearly had a beer in celebration but remembered there were some 'patients' back at the surgery to attend to (Jo must be on lates!).
Nic faced Oz Mustapa who plays in 3x county leagues, the Over 35 county team and seeded 9 in the National Racketball doubles - yet he was down at no4, thou plays above Tor in the Berks league (go figure..). Despite Nic's extra Sunday fitness training he was not able to do the business despite going close in 2nd and lost 0-3.
So match tied 2-2 and I was on last playing a teenager (Ben Sheldon) who I'd beaten the last 3 times. Recipe for disaster. On the hot courts the ball was flying off the bat so I decided to try and out hit Ben going up 4-0. Unfortunately lost next 9 points being consummately out hit. Similar tactics saw me go 4-8 down in 2nd then adopted McNeil/Foo style slow hanging game, dug in and  won it 10-9 and then went onto win 3-1.
So a much closer 13-7 victory keeps us in 2nd place
Paul, Matt and Mark took an early bath so me and Nic were left to eat curry for 5 which we very nearly did.

Next Lions game v league leaders Chesham Bois 1 on Weds 21st at home 7.30pm start.

Spectators welcome and Mr Atkinson that means you - your absence on previous home fixtures has been noted...

Thanks
Dan 

Bulls vs Chesham 1879

Coops is currently displaying a pitiful mustache in the name of 'Movember'.
He has asked me to pass on to you that he's heard all of the 'Village People' jokes and is not amused.
There was some talk last night from Big Bird of her leading a similar venture for the ladies in the club.
Any female members interested in her 'Fanuary' proposal please contact her at bigbush.co.uk
Meanwhile, here's Jim's report.
I couldn't find a picture of a bull with a 'tache so you'll have to make do with a bearded monkey...

On Tuesday night the Bulls took on Chesham 1879 at home. Things got off to a positive start when it became clear Charlie Yerrell would not be playing. There were conflicting stories, first that he's sold out and is now playing number 2 for Chesham Bois in the first division and second that he got severely largered-up at the weekend and injured himself in the process. Either way and like an unfortunate Jimmy Saville booking for the school fete we really weren't that sorry he didn't make an appearance.

First on was Capt Pig against the younger Yerrell (Joe), who's a year older and wiser and a useful number one for them. I didn't see too much of this one, being called into marking duties elsewhere, but Ian managed to take the second game before youth prevailed (1-3).

Next on was our illustrious Chairman vs the perennial Roger Hill. Both were coming back from surgery, Kev from adjustment to his shoulder and Roger's had his knees done, or his orchids pruned, or something! Kev got off to a good start, mixing lengths with his trademark karate style backhand drop and was soon two up. Roger looked out of sorts but like the gritty fighter he is dug-in in the 3rd. They traded blows like a couple of old prize-fighters. Roger got to game point before Kev cruelly shut the door in his face with some timely winners. Sweet! (3-0)

Then it was Natalie vs Dave Walden. I'd not seen Dave play before but he's quite a unit! He hit the ball crisply to a length on both sides and volleyed well too. Dave won the first and then Nathalie narrowly took the second. Dave really bossed the third, taking it to love and things were looking sticky but Nathalie began to take stock of the situation and realised that like a Weeble he was quite good at swaying from side to side but considerably less able at moving front to back. She upped the effort and with some sweetly constructed rallies of lengths, boasts and drop shots comfortably took the 4th and 5th. Dave was gutted. (3-2).

Meanwhile the Camel was playing Chris Butler on court 4. I didn't see too much of this one, suffice to say that Nigel's poisonous mix of boasts, lobs and drops was too much for Chris who went down quite tamely (3-0).

Finally, I went on last against Steve French in the knowledge that the match was already in the bag. Steve's Mrs has recently had a young baby and I think sleepless nights and lack of court time have clearly had their effect. Steve briefly showed his capabilities in the second with his trademark flashing boast but I sensed he wasn't really up for it and closed it out 3-1.

So all-in-all a good night for Bulls (17-6) and a result which should put us firmly in the middle of the pack at this stage in the season.

This'll Keep the Pigeons Off Yer Sprouts!

Hi All
As you may have noticed, I am sporting a rather poor moustache for Movember
in aid of the MS Society.
As I am trying my best to grow a decent moustache, I would appreciate some
encouragement by sponsoring me on www.justgiving.com/nicholasmanley
Thanks
Nic

Lions v Holmer Green (Lion Fashion Advice and mini match report from DF)

After a break for reflection over half term a rejuvenated Lions faced Holmer Green last night.
We were very turquoise in our snazzy new shirts and they were very green (appropriately) in theirs. 

Nic tried out a racy combo wearing his with red shorts which didnt work, l wore white which was ok but the general consensus was black or dark blue shorts waa the way to go. 

Teams please note!
Fashion advice over and onto the match which proved an easy victory.
Paul bt Alex Hartley comfortably 3-0.

Mark was back to form beating Tor 3-1.

CK was in control v James Harley 'til pulling a muscle (again) in 3rd and retiring 2-3. 

Nic saw off Chris Blakey 3-1 and l was too hot for Ben Sheldon 3-0.
So, an 18-5 victory moving us back up to 2nd place in league.
We play them again next week in the away fixture, then next home match is 21 Nov v league leaders Chesham Bois.
Be good to get a few more faces on the balcony cheering the teams along.

Lions Reports: A (Reliably) Tardy Catch Up by Dan Fernandez

Lions  V  Chesham 1B
One of the weaker teams in the League but still no pushovers. Paul was unavailable and I went down with a bad case of man-flu so a team of Mark, CK, Matt B, Nic & Chris G went into the fray still confident of victory.
Mark at 1 is not quite firing fully on all cylinders just yet and went down 1-3 against Phil Taylor who he has beaten before but was a yard too slow and forced into too many errors.
CK was too classy for the pacy Simon Ross, 3-0
Matt B making his 2013 debut was way too quick, powerful and smooth and won 3-0
Nic went down unexpectedly to a rejuvenated Neil Hines 1-3 who has a new edge to his undoubted grace
Chris just back from (another) holiday break (TV sales were clearly good over the Olympics) was marginally off the pace against the tricky Dan Glenn 1-3
So a close defeat 9-13

GX  V  Lions
The week after we played 'Ever-So' Cross, who weren't and were in fact a rather friendly bunch - probably because they had just had a good victory.
Despite certain pithy comments of the Beaconsfield strength-in-depth policy, GX are a prime example of turning out the same team of good players (but no superstars) every week, who all play for each other and take a season-long perspective.
At 1 Mark took on Trevor Loran. Mark went down 2-3 last year after having match points and we were hoping for a similar thriller. Unfortunately Trevor was on form and Mark after extra fitness training was strangely subdued with his shots not as effective as usual,  0-3.
CK having played supremely all season pulled a muscle after a close 1st and went down 0-3 in a match that looked definitely winnable
Nic played Andy Pears at 3. Andy can run but his strokes make Chris G look like Shabana, Nic played beautifully winning the 1st with great aplomb. On the same court as CK he also pulled a muscle (strange karma going on) halfway through 2nd and with his movement hindered went down 1-3
Making a comeback from illness I was rarely in it v Hefferman. He was too flicky and I too slow and despite a tight 3rd went down 0-3.
At 5, Magic was magic, taking on the chirpy Michael Jacobs. His new found speed and movement was too much of a handful winning well 3-0.
So a disappointing 4-16 loss.
Dinner was much more exciting than the match with discussions about the GX fisticuffs v CB1A; Trevor's £1000 bet to lose 2 stone and Matt Burnett's prominent shower profile....

On Nov 7th we play Holmer Green at home. Paul is back so come on down for a beer and a gander
Thanks
Dan

Bears 2 for 1 report

Captain Kangaroo writes:

Bears vs Tigers: lost 2-3 (6-13)

The match-up against the 2nds is always going to be a big game for either the Bulls or the Bears and so it was nice that our encounter seemed to feature all three teams in some form or other. Gareth’s interesting squad policy of ‘quality not quantity’ means that he is forever nicking players from other teams, and since we aren’t into cannibalism we ended up facing a couple of Bulls masquerading as Tigers, in a sort of weird Darwinian acid trip. A close match, but yet again we walked away the wrong side of a 2-3 scoreline. It’s becoming a habit, as indeed is having one player go crook on the night. Honestly: when I get 5 players fit on one evening in one squash club, we win. It’s only happened once this season…

Adam made short work of Chris, and those who saw it likened it to a man repeatedly throwing a stick for a dog to retrieve. I know Chris is built like a whippet but that still sounds a bit harsh to me. Phil Alexander was unavailable but luckily Dave Powell wasn’t, and it was certainly an intruiging match to watch the misfiring brutality of Davies come up against the still-rusty but sheer class of DP. The big man huffed and puffed but couldn’t blow down Powell’s elegantly constructed game. 3-0.

So far, things were looking good for us but then the traditional lower order collapse happened, starting with Olly who had claimed that acupuncture and physio had worked wonders on his calf. They hadn’t. Gareth had one of his easier nights and wasn’t needed beyond two games. He was still warming down 50 mins later though. I had my usual grindingly monotonous game against The Pig, as neither of us are brave / talented enough to go for winners and so we just endlessly hit the ball up & down the wall for what seems like hours. It must be very tedious to watch, sorry. Ian usually grinds out the first two games and then suddenly decides to go for his shots in the third and I get blown away. This was no exception, other than the fact that EVERYTHING he tried came off spectacularly. But I’m not bitter. Honest.

It all then came down to Phil Collings, our resident copper, to try and arrest Coops in his tracks (see what I”ve done there? Quality writing, that). I had a sense of doom about the game as Coops is playing well at the minute, but it turned out to be the best contest of the night. I guess we all enjoy playing against certain styles, and Coops seemed to be to Phil’s liking. The rallies were long and varied, and the initiative see-sawed constantly. In the end, Coops’ superior game experience showed and he played the right shot at the right time more often than Phil did and deserved to win a tight 3-0. Great stuff.

So, a strange evening’s squash where most of it was one-sided but with pockets of competitive battling. The usual (lovely) food wasn’t available that night so we switched to the back-up plan of fish & chips. It did provide the highlight of the evening in the form of Adam trying to explain to an ignorant northerner what exactly a saveloy is, and Neil complaining bitterly that it isn’t a sausage, which is what he had ordered. Mind, he had ordered it unbattered because he didn’t want “anything lardy”, but then hopefully asked if they did pineapple fritters. I may be an ignorant northerner, but aren’t fritters….?

Away to Chesham 1879. Lost 1-4 (4-16)

I had high hopes for this one. Rumour had it that Charlie Yerrell was doing a university course and wasn’t playing for them any more, which meant that his younger brother Joe would be playing at 1 and thus court fodder for Adam. Phil Alexander was back at 2 and I’d won at 3 the last match of the season in April. Plus the fact that Lady Bear Jo Smalley was back and hungry after her injury in the club champs. The rankings put her at 5, so with the top two winning that gave us a definite win and it was just a question of whether Phil Collings or I could grab more points at 3 & 4.

Well, that plan turned out to be b******ks. The Curse of the Bears struck again with Adam going down with stomach cramps that morning and showed up only out of a driving sense of loyalty rather than being in bed, where he should have been. Oh, and Charlie’s uni course starts next week and so this was his last match of the season (thanks). Oh, and they brought in a ringer at 2 and Phil A had played one more match that week than he should have and never got out of the blocks. Oh, and that meant that Joe played down at 3 and he is a third of my age….

You get the picture. Phil got blown off court by Simon de Conaich, Phil Collings couldn’t cope with Steve French’s excellent touch at the front of court, and after nearly 10 mins Joe and I were still only 0-2. It’s hard to describe the feeling of battling as hard as you can, to near exhaustion, and yet inexorably slowly you are losing and it’s only halfway through the first game. At times like that, you wonder why you play such a stupid sport that hurts too much.

There were only two highlights of an otherwise depressing evening: the first was Lady Bear utterly crushing her opponent Dave Walden, who was admittedly slightly overweight but irritatingly skillful nonetheless. Most impressive was Jo being 1-8 down in the third and coming back to take it 10-8. She’s back, and not before time. If she can start winning at 4 or 3 we are cooking on gas.

The second highlight was the utterly mesmerizing game between Charlie and a below-par Adam. I’m pretty sure that had Adam been fit he would have beaten the elder Yerrell, but to say he went down fighting is an understatement. The quality of squash was easily First Division, with twists and turns that drew gasps from the crowd from the club which had gathered to watch. One shot in particular lives in the memory: Adam had wrong-footed his opponent and sent a powerful volley past him. In the blink of an eye Charlie spun round and caught the ball on the volley against the back wall. It looped up and just clipped the front on it’s way down. The shot was so unexpected in its brilliance that even Adam could only stand and applaud like the rest of us. It’s watching games like that when you realize why we play such a stupid sport which hurts so much. A shame it had to end and in a 1-3 defeat for Adam, his first (and only?) of the season.

We need a win, folks…….

2nds v Bulls

Gazza writes:

Well, the dust has finally settled a week after an intriguing night which saw Neil run off court at 2-1 down and announce that he was in real danger of losing his jewels! More later …
Trevor (seen right, a shadow of a former shadow) had an announcement too as he arrived at 7.35, “Gazza, can we play first as I get worse the later it gets?”. Like a jaded teacher Trevor failed to ask any proper questions and had about as much fight in him as Audley Harrison.

Neil v Jim – Neil who needed to be home by 7.30pm tried desperately to play at 6.30 but all courts were booked. Hid identical twin was obviously elsewhere so Neil quickly lost the first 2-9 but he forgot time in the second and breezed past Jim 9-3. He looked at his watch again, felt his manhood literally slipping away and lost the 3rd 7-9. I was marking and turned for a quick swig and Neil appeared on the balcony with apologies and an exit that Linford Christie would have been proud of. So it became 3-1 to Jim who had the look of someone who had just had an unsatisfactory “session”.

Natalie v Nigel – Natalie, dropped for the 2nd time by the Bulls (only joking) was predicted by Trev to lose was re-invigorated by just one of Andy Longman’s Sunday afternoon torture sessions. Nigel took the first 2 games before Nat got into the game and started to hear the Camel rattle. She took the 3rd 9-6 and the 4th 10-8 to set up a tense decider. Nigel playing perfect lobs and beautifully weighted shots that died in the back corners had enough to close out 9-6. Great match, 3-2 to Nigel; Nat is back, getting fitter.

Gazza v Trev – well we have history but that competitive edge has all but disappeared as it was more like playing with my dad who is 70 odd and heavily strapped up. The first 2 games whizzed by but I tweaked my hamstring in the 3rd and stopped moving. Fortunately Trev didn’t notice, many said I played dirty as I should of told him when it happened. Let’s hope the Trev we know and love finds his squash mojo again. 3-0 Gazza.

Toby v Pig – a hit fest which I marked, ball whizzing invariably to a length with the occasional boast thrown in and every now and again a drop shot just to keep my interest going. Toby, too fit and motivated out gunned a strangely tired Ian to win 3-0.

Seb v Ches – I heard someone saying later in the bar that this match was like the changing of the guard in the club. Seb 16 and Ches 63/64. Ches is incredibly fit for his age (he’ll smack me for that!), Seb steamed through the first 2 games for 5 points before Ches got a grip in the match and took the third. This was the match, the one that would decide a tie poised at 2-2. Seb showed no mercy, upped the pace and won 9-1. 3-1 to Seb.

A great match, 3-2 to the 2nds and 16-7. The bill for the night was about £88, a world record for when Trev is there. I did save £12 however with Neil not staying for 3 beers. And Lisa always makes it a memorable night for all with her utter disdain for us all!

Happy Birthday Di

It's Di's birthday today.

Why not go to her blog at

http://www.diholmesphotography.blogspot.co.uk

and wish her a happy day.

We've just been out for a pub lunch and a walk by the river and a swing in a swing and, as you can see, Di still swings like a young 'un.

Me? I could get in but had trouble getting out...

On the walk we found a boat that we thought we could do up and live the intrepid bohemian river life in.

It's got promise, no?

Now, onto the evening which promises curry and brandy and a cozy listen to the remaster of Peter Gabriel's 'So'; a present that she doesn't know she has yet (until she reads this). And I believe there's some footy on the TV later; it's either that or 'Three Colours Blue'. The birthday girl will probably get her way and we'll have to suffer the Champions League again.

Captain Kangaroo's band is playing a gig not too far away, so if you fancy a night out at a nice pub near Henley on Friday 9th November listening to a top-notch rock covers band then check us out. 

The Facebook site (https://www.facebook.com/DirtyRockinScoundrels) has some videos of past gigs for you to get a flavour of the stuff we play. 

If you want recommendations then ask either Toby or Nigel, who have heard us play and weren't actually rude about us, which I take as high praise indeed...

THE BUTCHERS ARMS
BLOUNTS COURT ROAD
SONNING COMMON
RG4 9RS
Music From 8.30pm
www.lemonrock.com

SID VACUOUS? AVERAGE BULLS V SORRY 2NDS

Funny how once you get hit over the head with a phrase it's echo seems to reverberate o'er every mundanity.
"Strength in Depth" seems to be the catch phrase for the season.
It might be better changed to something like "I'll be there on the dot" but then we could all put our (new team) shirts on disappointment, so... "strength in depth" it is.
Shall we call it SID instead?
Maybe treat the idea like a little pet.
Stroke it even when it starts to smell bad...

Gazza's 'Sorry 2nds' are struggling with SID; so much so that the Bulls had to stiffen their resolve with a couple of guest appearances agin the Super Bears and their own (apparently shortish) SID in last week's tight encounter (3-2 to the 2nds).
This week sees a similar predicament for our lovable Real Estater...
The initial rumour was that Gazza would put upon The Pig's better porcine nature and have the front to suggest two Bulls turning out against their own breed (a tubby Tomcat & a resting Red Squirrel) in tomorrow's Bulls v 2nds mash up.
Well, (after much heckling) a compromise of sorts sees a Bull and a Bear turn out to flatter Gazza's SID.
Match ups are below with predictions.
I was cock on last week...

Toby v The Pig 
'Magic' too much of a handful; our usually streaky Pig gets a stuffing; a crackling match though. (3-1)

Neil v The Chicken
Could be interesting after Neil's dismantling by The Turtle last week. An on form Jim to rattle The Beast until his wheels fall off? Not likely but that's the plan... (3-2 to Mr Bojangles)

Gazza v The Fox
Speaking of dismantling; after a nip and tuck league encounter with 'Lonesome' yesterday (27-0) my confidence is so low that I should fit 'umbly and smugly into Gazza's gaping poche. (3-0)

The Gnat v The Camel
A whiff of interbreeding here; Gnat to stick close to the walls, Camel to get the hump "all at sea" but bedazzle Machiness with his unorthodoxy and come out on top. (1-3)

Seb Monson v The Python
Petulance and promise v petulance and pride. Pride to win. (0-3)

So, 10 - 9 to the 2nds.

Come and watch.
7.40 start.