Do you Recognize this Masked 'Man'?

Do you recognize this man?

He was glimpsed recently at the club causing all kinds of havoc.

According to Stan Kozliaskiiolski (reliable witness and "founding member") he was initially reported in disguise on Court 5, masquerading as a squash (stroke) racketball player. This suspicious behavior continued in the changing room where, under the showers, he apparently mistook an ex-chairman for a Junior, offering him a bag of sweets in return for the soaping his 'lower back'. Howard Machin is currently unavailable for comment ("in the fecking dentist's chair") but he now holds the Bucks record for holding the most 'Haribo Bananas' in his mouth at the same time (39). There is a vague recollection from Neil Harrison that this mystery member exited the showers "hirsute, obviously aroused and in not particularly good shape". Neil also mentioned something about "a small acorn" but that full comment is currently deemed unprintable. Once out of the shower our mystery man apparently shoe horned himself into a pair of Doc Martins (cherry red with little stars on the toes), a pair of faux leather flares (PVC we suspect) and an ill fitting 'Doobie Brothers' t-shirt with the price tag still on (£3.99), an outfit, which Stan reports gave the impression of "a condom stuffed full of walnuts". Our Mysterio then proceeded to the bar where he ordered a half of lime and soda and a packet of Twiglets (unshared), before goosing our barmaid Lisa Jones and departing the club with the words "Tallyho Tosspots!" Lisa reports that the interloper had an impressive helmet that was very shiny but looked "virtually unused". Our masked man then took about 10 minutes attempting to sling a leg over an overpriced (but very shiny) 'Hog' in the car park. Once astride he spent an eternity trying to kickstart afore mentioned 'Hog', before unwittingly demonstrating that Harley Davidsons do indeed have a reverse gear. Ken Groundcourt insists that the dents in his bumper were caused by this maneuver and not the various 25 social members' 4x4s as previously reported.

If you do know the identity of this malevolent please inform club manager Andy Longman asap as Ken wants his insurance details, Lisa wants his phone number, Howard demands the return of his shower gel (and 'Midnight Rider's' phone number) and Shergar wants his teeth back...

The Hat Club: Tom Baxter: November 3rd

More news to follow but...
Our next Hat Club is November 3rd.
Tom Baxter.
Members can pay to reserve tickets now at the bar.

Or you can PayPay me @ tnlj1959@gmail.com

£15 each reservation: I advise that you act swiftly.

We open to the public on June 10th and this will sell out fast.
Here's a taster: 

Tom's song 'Better' was used by ITV today as the soundtrack for their official 'Best Moments Montage' of the Royal Wedding.
It has kicked the song into the Top 20.
Tom has history with the Royals. Another of his songs was used for similar purpose with William and Kate.

The Hat Club: November 3rd 2018: Tom Baxter

The next Hat Club presentation will be something special.
Not only is it likely to be the only one of 2018 it is also sure to be the first ever 'Sold Out' Hat Club.
If the name Tom Baxter doesn't resonate, it should do.

Di and I have seen Tom live about 7 or 8 times and we both agree that he is one of the best live acts we've been privileged to see. 'Spellbinding' doesn't do him justice.
His debut album, Feather and Stone, was released by Columbia in October 2004 to critical acclaim, and was a regular on the BBC Radio 2 playlist. Singles from the album included "This Boy" and "My Declaration".
Tom's second album Skybound (released 7 January 2008) was recorded independently and released on the revived Charisma Records label through EMI [1] after he split with Sony in 2007. The first single, "Better", was released in January 2008 and was subsequently used on the soundtrack for the motion picture Run Fatboy Run. "Miracle" was used by the BBC to cover the final montage of their Olympics and Paralympics coverage.[3] The second single was "Tell Her Today".
Baxter contributed the track "Make a Stand" to the Survival International charity album Songs for Survival in 2008. Later that year Boyzone covered and released "Better", reaching number 22 in the UK Top 40 singles chart.
In 2009, "My Declaration" was covered by Eliza Bennett and used in the soundtrack the film Inkheart (Bennett also played the female lead, Meggie Folchart, in the movie). "Almost There" was covered by Dame Shirley Bassey as the opening track of her album The Performance. Baxter and the BBC Concert Orchestra accompanied Dame Shirley Bassey when she performed the song at the BBC Electric Proms on 24 October 2009 at the Roundhouse in London, a concert broadcast live on BBC Radio 2 and on BBC Two television the next day. The song was also used in the ending credits for the 2011 film, Trust.

We are releasing tickets to club members now, before opening up to the public on June 10th.
Reservations can be made at the bar by paying £15 a head and placing your name on the Hat Club clip board.
*Please note that names will only be accepted with full payment.
You can also PayPal me at tnlj1959@gmail.com to pay and reserve a space.

In order to tempt Tom to our venue we have agreed a ticket price of £15.

This Hat Club is sure to be a sell out so you are advised to act quickly.