'Lack of Talent' Evening: 7pm Saturday 26th November

'Lack of Talent' Evening 

Disappoints no-one...

Written by: Bob 'Ten Thumbs' Heard

The squash club hosted a very successful "Lack of Talent" Music Night on Saturday 26 November with it's own newly formed group, "THE AVERAGE WRIST BAND", turning out to be anything but average! Popular opinion from the 40 or so people who attended was that the night proved to be great fun, with good food and (surprisingly) good music. Dave Stamp was also happy with the healthy bar takings. Songs ranged from 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door', through 'Summer of 69' to the favourite, 'Johnny B Goode'.
Go on, press 'Play'.

An audience Song Book enabled the occasional group sing-along, and even encouraged a few hardy souls to venture to the front and join in on lead vocals.

At one stage the drummer, Bob Powell, donned a Gorilla Suit for the Phil Collins/Cadbury Chocolate hit, 'In the Air Tonight'... apparently Bob's wife Glynis wants to keep the suit and send Bob back to the hire shop!

Other band members were Paul Austin (Bass and Keyboard), Tim Westall (Lead Guitar), Bob Heard and his brother-in-law Barry McDonagh (Acoustic/Rhythm Guitars) and Jerry Gray (Vocals).
The band's appearance fee has apparently now been doubled to a dollar, but you had better get in quick if you want to book them for your own special event; there'a a rogues gallery below to see what you might get if you give a buck...

Lack of Talent Evening: 7pm Saturday 26th November

From your beloved Chairman, Bob Heard:


Have you ever wanted to see the Club Chairman, and other assorted “volunteers”, make complete fools of themselves (again!) or even demonstrate your own “lack of talent” by performing musically in public? Or maybe just come along for a good old-fashioned sing-song and have some fun?

Well now’s your chance! On Saturday 26 November the Club will be hosting a musical extravaganza from about 7pm until midnight, with music-a-plenty, a hot evening supper, joyous liquid refreshment and merriment all round.

A number of “musicians” (a term to be applied quite loosely to some, but certainly not all, of this motley crew) have been lined up to play all sorts of music with guitars, drums and other assorted instruments. Bob Heard, Paul Austin, Tim Westall, Bob Powell and Mike Atkinson have already agreed to be sacrificial lambs, and a few more are in the offing.

The evening will be totally informal, with no predetermined sets of music, but rather a “play what you want when you feel like it” structure and requests allowed only if anyone present can play/sing the song. Karaoke interludes will be strictly encouraged!

Please now put the date in your diary, watch out for a further announcement about ticket sales (at an incredibly cheap price) and, if you would like to be a member of this exclusive “band” - especially if you can sing – please do contact Chris Griffiths, Trevor Jones or Bob Heard, who will welcome you with open arms.


Love and kisses, your Chairman: Bob Heard xxx
PS: I'd invite feedback on my latest promo shot (see below) taken by the club's unofficial photographer, the lovely Di Holmes (www.diholmesphotography.co.uk)
She's taken years off me...

Squash and Racketball Evening

On Friday 14th October the club hosted an evening of exhibition squash and racketball.
First up we had a butcher's feast served up by Tim Vail and Tom Phipps in the 'Racketball Challenge'.
'Tiny' Tim is the National Racketball champion, ranked No2 in England.
There are not many Premier League squash players who can eat 12 pork pies in a minute; 'Tiny' dominates the 'T' see convincingly that it takes an A to Z and a compass to get around him. That was the challenge for Aylesbury's pin up Tom, who is the Bucks Racketball champion and ranked nationally at No5.
The rallies were long, languorous and spectacular; the packed galleries in awe of both players' flexibility, dexterity and creativity.
Tim tonked Tom eventually after much grand spectacle; they danced spectacularly. Excellent box office gents. Well done.
The next offering was more traditional fayre though not exactly meat and potatoes; the 'Squash Challenge':
Clive Ewins (British over 35 national runner up/World over 35 semi finalist/Ex world top 80 ranked) took on the club's No1 and current champion Paul Boyle (Kiwi Terrier).
We expected the haka from the All Black; got nowt but a hacking cough.
He might have been poorly but he hammered poor Clive with a ruthless virtuoso display. No mercy...

After the games the members made for the bar to enjoy the late bar extension and to dip their bread in the evening's culinary offerings: Chicken and Porcini Casserole & Beef in Red Wine Ragu with Star Anise, served up by The Camel's squeeze, Pam McNeil and 'Chef de Club', Trevor Jones.
Pam waved her ladle a little too generously at first; those 'Irish Portions' gradually declining to 'Kiddy Meal' proportions as it became apparent that the natives were rampantly ravenous. Where does Howard put it?
Oh, and club captain (and current club racketball champion) 'Dirty' Dan Fernandez (right) made a speech that no-one really listened to; I'll try and post a transcript here to reveal if anything of note was said...
Have a look below to some images of the evening captured by the unofficial club photographer, lovely Di Holmes (http://www.diholmesphotography.co.uk).
If you scroll to the bottom you can marvel at the size of Trev's ladel...