Summer Squash: Warriors at Bracknell

Having had a four week break since their last match, the Warriors were keen to get back to action against Bracknell 4. Well....some of them were. Ok, only two. Three cancellations from the scheduled team members resulted in some last minute recruitment, with only one spot able to be filled by Jez Harrop. Lucky to have managed to get at least three players, the team headed out to try and maximize on available points...

Match 1: John Bullard v Craig Gilbert

A rematch from the first fixture at Beaconsfield, John and Craig started the evening with an exciting first game. Craig seemed a bit out of sorts to begin with and John took full advantage, jumping out to a 8-0 lead. Craig, however, was not going to give up and decided to make it a fight. Slowly working his way back into the game, the mental anguish for John came when scores drew level at 8-8. After coming that far, Craig kept his momentum going to win at 10-8. The second game started more evenly, but John managed a win to equalize with a score of 9-4. In the third, John led the way but a short break was required for injury when John’s tactics suddenly included ‘hit your opponent in the face with a racquet.’ A quick inspection revealed no lasting damage to Craig, and the match continued. John, feeling no sympathy for Craig, won the third at 9-4 again. The fourth game was a bit closer, but John sorted a win at 9-7 to take the first match for Beaconsfield.

Match 2: Jez Harrop v Peter Webb

A new recruit to the team, and having not played in recent months due to injury, Jez was very keen to get on court and see if he could remember how to hit a squash ball. A good start to the match saw some long rallies and Jez seemed to get the feel back quickly, but in the end the first game went to Peter at 9-7. Mentally strong, Jez shook off the first game loss to work his way to a 6-0 lead in the second game. But, then disaster struck and Peter was able to work his way back to 7-7 and continue to a 9-7 win. Jez did well to make the third game competitive, but yet again fell on a score of 9-7. Second match and overall match win to Bracknell 4.

Match 3: Joe Budzynski v Matt Morgan

Another rematch from the first fixture, Joe was confident he could pull out a win. The first game started slowly, with a very warm court making it difficult to end points....serve was going back and forth for the first five or six long rallies. However, a few strings of points and mistakes from Matt ended the game in quick and unusual fashion, 9-0 to Joe. The second game started with Joe pushing to a 5-0 lead, but ended much closer at 10-8 as Matt seemed to collect himself. But, keeping the pressure up, Joe then took the third game on a score of 9-2. Third and final match of the evening to Beaconsfield.

Final Match Score

Beaconsfield Warriors: 6 games, 2 matches won

Bracknell 4: 10 games, 3 matches won

Overall winner: Bracknell 4

Scores, fixtures, and table can be found on the club notice board and at:

http://www.berkshiresquash.org/leagues/summer/

Berkshire League Summer Squash: Beaconsfield Warriors away against Burghfield 2

Firstly, a news flash and update on happenings since the last Beaconsfield Warriors match. Owing to the persuasive and influential prose of Kevin Mears, the Berkshire League Committee has seen fit to waive the match forfeiture and penalty points against the Beaconsfield Warriors as mentioned earlier. Huzzah.

With that feather in their cap, the team found themselves top of the table and travelled to Burghfield for their second away match of the summer season....

Match 1:  Guy Plunkett v Gareth May

A late addition to the roster, Guy was in Saudi Arabia on Wednesday afternoon when he got a message from the team captain and was informed of his call-up. Of course, he immediately changed work and flight plans to make sure he could travel back in time to play in the match. A solid performance against his opponent proved he had shaken off any jet-lag, resulting in a 3-0 win. First match to Beaconsfield.

Match 2: Harry Chapples v Andy Wing

Harry’s second appearance for the team this summer and he was well up for it. Starting confidently, Harry managed a 2-0 lead in games with some tough rallies and good length play, including a first game tiebreak win at 10-9. However, disputes between his opponent and the marker (who was on the Burghfield team!) took a mental toll on Harry, which resulted in the third game going the other way. The short break after game three allowed for some words of wisdom from Mike Atkinson to be passed along, which of course resulted in a stronger showing in the fourth game as Harry took it for the match win, 3-1. Two matches to Beaconsfield.

Match 3: Mike Atkinson v Chris Reeves

Third match of the evening and Mike started admirably, working his way to a 7-2 scoreline in the first game. However, a couple mistakes from Mike and some clever play from Chris saw the game swing back the other way to arrive in tiebreak territory at 9-9. With Chris serving for the game, Mike watched in vain as his own mid-rally forehand boast clipped the top of the tin....game one to the opposition. A tough place to come back from mentally for the next two games, and Chris took full advantage. Games two and three also went to the opposition, resulting in a 0-3 loss for Mike. One match to Burghfield, two to Beaconsfield.

Match 4: Heather Joy v Richard May

As Joe was still marking Mike Atkinson’s game, Heather was on court next. Yet another match for Heather with little excitement as she played very technical squash and easily won in short order at 3-0. No surprises as per normal, with Heather yet to drop a single game while playing in the Berkshire summer league this year. Chalk up the overall match win for the Warriors at this point.

Match 5: Joe Budzynski v Rob Sumner

Joe began the match with some textbook drive and drop play, winning the first game easily at 9-1 and pushing out to a 7-2 lead in the second, but then seemed to lose focus and only won at 9-7. Joe started to get frustrated in the third game, with Rob landing some fortuitous nicks and reading Joe’s intentions to get a game back in favour of Burghfield. Joe then got back on the wagon and, while having to work harder than expected, sorted things out in the fourth and final game resulting in a 3-1 win.

Final Match Score

Beaconsfield Warriors: 12 Games, 4 Matches won

Burghfield 2: 5 Games, 1 Match won

Overall winner: Beaconsfield Warriors

Scores, fixtures, and table can be found on the club notice board and at:

http://www.berkshiresquash.org/leagues/summer/

Summer Squash: The Lonesomes v Webster

The Lonesomes turned up and tuned in for their second summer squash match of the season.
Changes had been made. Lonesome Wrinkly (Atko) was dropped for... well, not being able to drop. In his place we had man mountain Andy Wright and the dynamic Chris Parker.
The courts were hot; the rallies would be abundant. The sweltering heat would sort the men from the boys...

First on was Chris; Lonesome Quixote was up against Beaconsfield's very own ranting windmill, Richard Monson. Rich's reach is awesome, he's a tricky oppo; there's no part of the court that he can't block off and our sprightly boy had his work cut out dancing around the muttering Monson. Too much quality pressure from The Don forced too many errors from Richard who succumbed with a guttural grunt...
3-0 
Rating: Quixote becalms The Windmill's sails

Next up was the main event. Squash is not a blood sport but I think that most in the packed gallery were hoping for a repeat of last week's histrionics. The nameless estate agent was notable by his absence last night but his presence permeated the rafters every time the score was called. Lonesome Fox (yup, me) was an innocent bystander in last week's meltdown, but talk was that there was always a ruck when this calamitous catalyst (me) is about. Last night he (me) took on nemesis, Chairman Mears. Although his record agin me (me) is not good, Napoleon always reckons that he wins the important ones. Important? Impotent more like it last night. The Dude was firing duds, even his signature stop drops were gutter bound. Too many errors from a strangely lack-lustre Kevin saw moi (me) bringing home the lonesome bacon with a fairly routine victory. Rumour has it that Mears was knackered from changing too many (14) club light bulbs, but that ain't right; we all know how the little dictator changes a light bulb: he just holds it aloft and the world spins around him...
3-0
Rating: Napoleon Blown Apart

Next up was Lonesome Hulk. Andy Wright was making his summer team debut and whilst not exactly filling notable boots (Atko's) the pressure was on for him to make his mark. Brutal strength and focussed application saw off a spirited (but brief) resistance from Stephen Webster.
3-1 
Rating: Lean, Mean, Green and erm... Better than Atko...

Our skipper and number one; Lonesome Pyne was up next. The other team's flagship was more dreadnaught than battleship; moribund Neil Davies, powerful, functional but essentially a talent free zone. This week 'The Fridge' (aka 'Smeg') confused us all by ditching the whites; sporting a red top that gave him the resemblance to a telephone box. Adam was a mobile phone in comparison to the lumbering phone booth. Every shot in Neil's book (more a pamphlet) was indifferently matched by our balletic brave heart; ably assisted by some spectacularly one eyed marking from Lonesome Fox (me); Lonesome Pyne even wantonly scraped up a spectacular double bounce; the coup de grace to an already demoralised Davies. Enough messing; Adam eventually pulled the plug and defrosted 'The Fridge' (aka 'Smeg') with the sweltering heat of his abundant talents...
3-0
Rating: Adam the Iceman Cometh; Smeg Shows Lack of Spunk

And so to the post match pint; another happy hour at the bar where the talk was of WKP's seafaring sex life (essentially 'self love') and the revelation that our other salty sea dog, boat buying pugwash, Chris Hosey is allergic to... fish.
Although he has our sympathies it's really hard to kipper straight face...

Oh, and Chris Gildersleve made an appearance dressed as a 70's pimp.
The highlight of his outrageous (viscose dominated) outfit was a magnificent white belt that Engelbert Humpersheep will be borrowing this weekend for the Eurovisions.
Come on Norway.

Summer Squash: The Lonesomes v The Springers

Summer Squash got off to a cracking start last night as detailed in 'Lonesome' Pyne's match report below. 
And guess what? 
I wasn't 'the baddie' this time...


Last night saw the Summer league campaign kick off with a hugely enjoyable evening of competitive squash and great socialising.1st on was Yours Truly, and as Captain I was determined to lead my team by example. Facing The Springer Spaniel himself (Chris Gildersleeve) I was in no mood to muck around, 1st game done in a couple of minutes 9-0, I was then told by the Chairman himself to go for the jugular and see the Springer off 27-0 for what was obviously a deep wound that he himself once had inflicted on him by the Springer. 2nd game 8-0 up and the real Springer showed himself with his well know mishit winner for his first point (GRRRR). I then saw the match out after that for only the lose of 3 more points for the win and the 1st points of the season were on the board. :o)

Next up was the whiley coyote himself (Mike) at number 3 for the evening, old whiley got off to a storming start hitting an dead nick drop shot straight off to go 1-0 up in the first, unfortunately I think that shot got to his head as proceeded to hand the initiative to his opponent, for 3/4's of the game whiley had lots of chances of calling easy lets but just looked up to the gods but "LET PLEASE" never came out of his mouth, to then add to the painful beating he was starting to take already 2-0 and 6-2 down he finally asked for a let, only to be denied by the marker (ME) as he needed to be another 20 years younger to be able to get there. Final Score 0-3.

Then came the Silver Fox (Trevor), I didn't get to see much of the match but when I arrived it was 2 games all, so all to play for. Controversy then kicked in (no surprise for anyone that knows the silver fox) with the Springer marking he called the score as 2-1 to the Fox, his opponent (Gareth) was adamant that this was incorrect and in fact it was 1-1, but the marker was having none of it, like a sulking little school boy Gareth had a little temper tantrum and that was all the silver fox needed to see off his prey with some inspired winners to come through 3-2, like the petulant child that he showed he was Gareth steamed off court without the offer of a proper handshake (oh poor did-dums LOL).

Last but certainly not least was David, rushing straight in from a hectic day at work, he was facing a man that was on a mission in Jez, with his team captain not notifying him that David would not be around till just after 8pm, he was not in a good mood, David took full advantage of this and went into a 8-1 lead in the first, What happened next only David will know as Jez clawed his way and nicked the game 10-8, Jez then was able to harbour his anger into making the very valiant David cover all 4 corners of the court for the next 2 games, as much as David charged around covering everything the slightly more cunning play of Jez saw him through the match. Final Score 0-3

So the first game drawn 2 matches all, but unfortunately The Springers team crept the win due to the 2 games the Sulky School Boy managed to steal away from the Silver Fox.

Then the festivities began in the bar and, well I can't say anything about that, only that their was drinking and lots of somewhat interesting banter happening, which finished off a thoroughly entertaining evening.

Next Match is Next Wednesday 23rd May with the Team Selection below.

1, CK
2, Trevor
3, Chris
4, Andy

If you all good confirm that you are still ok to play in this fixture that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking that maybe we could order in some pizza's to go with the drink in the evening, if you are up for this then please let me know.

Regards

Adam