Beyond Chutzpah: Beaconsfield v Booker 1

Tim Westall writes:

Beaconsfield 1 vs. Booker

On a beautiful summer’s evening, what better way to spend a few hours than chasing some bloody stupid mega-bouncy blue ball around a fetid racketball court in High Wycombe?

 Yes, this was our last match of the interclub racketball tournament, and after last week’s wimp-out from Wycombe, this was a double-header we had to win.

 With squad members thin on the ground we called upon Phil Collings and Richard Cottrell from the second team to bolster numbers.

Proceedings got underway with me playing Dave, a lanky ex-squash player who looked like he knew his way around the court. I was still quite jetlagged from my shenanigans in Asia last week so was a bit concerned about being able to focus. Luckily I needn’t have worried as the match quickly zipped past with a 3-0 win in 15 minutes.

Next on was Phil against an awkward leftie (aren’t they all?) and 2 games up in 15 minutes. Phil then had a bit of a wobble (he’d been playing squash earlier in the evening) and was 10-6 down in the third. After 4 game points, Phil rallied and put the match to bed. Another 3-0

Then Richard played Gary – both wearing a fetching combination of red shirt and blue shorts. Very nice boys. Richard was quickly 2-0 up before suffering a similar attack of the Phils, tinning shot after shot and conceding games 3 and 4. Focus returned in game 5 for an unexpectedly tight 3-2 win.

Ches then went on against bandana-wearing Grahame for a very tight match. Ches was suffering from lurgy and the runs – so had conserved energy with just one match earlier in the evening against Lino. He managed to hold it together well for the first couple of games but thereafter was struggling against a determined oppo for nailbiting 2-3 result.

Going against recent form, we then managed to win both doubles matches, leaving us with a satisfactory 15-6 win. That should at least lift us from the relegation zone.

Thanks to all who’ve played over the past couple of months. The schedule and organisation have been horrible but we’ve had some fun.

Beyond Chutzpah: Beaconsfield v Chesham, Booker & Berko 1

Dan writes:

With Capt Tim off to Manilla for a week of work commitments, I took the arm band for the above matches.

The season has see-sawed from several severe thrashings at the hands of Aylesbury A & B, Berko and Tring and a few close matches vs the lower teams, so as the business end of the season approached we were perilously close to the relegation zone.

Cometh the hour cometh the men….

We had drawn 10-10 with Booker earlier in the season when Chez went AWOL to Cyprus so surely with a full team of 4 we would take the victory? With a strong team of Dan, Chez, Trev, Mike we were confident and rightly so as we all won through the singles 12-1. Chez was up against a spiky Bok at 2 who was their best player but despite his protestations he was well marshalled by Chez’s all -court game and Mike as ref. The doubles was another story however…  Quality singles does not translate into guaranteed doubles wins. Chez and I losing 0-2 and Mike Trev 1-2. So a satisfying win 13-5 but more was expected.

Ready for match on Friday 5^th I scrabbled around for players for the re-arranged fixture v Booker. Out of courtesy I put in a call on Thurs lunch just to check the match was on and Booker’s capt very abruptly told me they could ‘never get a team out on Fridays’. Thanks for the notice!

For Berko at home on Mon 8^th (who had stuffed us in the away fixture) Jonny Machin dusted off his short bat, and together with Dan Chez and Mike we were up for it in the 30’ heat. Berko turned up slightly weaker than expected and as we were slightly stronger a close match was anticipated. Jonny played a young buck at 1 whose reputation was fearsome but in practice he was not up to much – more of a no4 than no1. JM coasted to an easy 3-0 victory. I played Mark at 2 who had been playing 1 most of the season and had a humdinger. After an hour we were at 2-2 whilst the other players had already completed both their singles and doubles. Despite letting a 2-0 lead slip I reduced the error count in 5^th to win a close game 11-9. Chez had another great game against Dave their racketball coach who is as broad as he is tall but Chez showing great control and athleticism to win 3-2. Mike at 4 also had a close game, playing Nick who moved well and hit the ball with great aplomb. At 1-1 Mike pulled his calf and the errors crept in losing a tight match 1-3. So at 10-7 on to the doubles. Thankfully Berko were as unco-ordinated in the doubles as we were. Jonny and Chez winning 2-1 and Mike and I scrapped through a close match 11-9, 12-10 : 2-0. Finally a doubles win plus the match victory 14-8.

Last match v Booker (if they bother to turn out!) on Weds 10^th and a win should see us finish mid-table.

Dan

Beyond Chutzpah: Match report: Beaconsfield 1 vs. Tring 1 – May 20th

Skipper Timbo writes:

It’s all about FOCUS!
This was a keenly anticipated fixture with recent Tring defector James Walton returning with his new friends to do battle.

Proceedings got underway with Stan taking on Mr Walton in the expletive-laden slugfest that we’d all been looking forward to.

Stan was a bit on-edge to begin with, but once he found his mojo he won it fair and square. Good result. 3-1

Then I played Paul from Tring, a professional tennis coach apparently. I was still on the M25 for the first game and made some silly mistakes to lose it 4-11. Then focus returned to turn the game around – next games going 11-9, 11-9, 11-1. A solid 3-1. Thanks also to Ches for marking – ‘you should only need to do the first game, Dan will be here in a minute’.

Trevor then played their other James (much younger, better looking) for a very frisky match. Trev just nipped the first game 12-10 before assuming more control in the second 11-6. His brain then went briefly in search of the bar to concede the third game 11-3 – before regaining focus to take the fourth 11-7. Good work. 3-1

Finally Dan went on against their #1 Ross, who had the most thumping forehand drive seen in these parts for a long time. He whacked his way to victory in the first two games before Dan began to mix it up a bit with some tasty drops and a corkscrew or to, but unfortunately it was not enough to claw things back. 0-3

The doubles panto then arrived. I didn’t see Dan and Trevor’s game, but it was 0-2. Meanwhile on the other court Stan and I were at 1-1 before Walton felled me with a reverse kidney punch. This didn’t help and we limped to a 1-2 defeat.

So the final result was a 10-10 draw. 
Body armour will be worn for the return visit...

Beco v Berko

Thanks to those who came and fought valiantly at Berko this Wednesday.

To try and put us off, Berko had organised a very noisy raffle for Wimbledon tickets right outside the courts, and when that finished they turned up the volume on the TV so Mike wouldn’t miss any of the action from Chelsea-Benefica.

To try and spook us further, they wore luminous orange team strips that made Phil Whitaker’s old yellow shirts seem understated.

So, to the match…

I was completely outclassed by their #1 who later revealed he is an England squash player, recently dabbling in racketball and thrashing all comers. 0-3

Mike had a good comeback run vs. Berko’s tricky #2 who just kept on running. 0-3

Phil had a very close match against a lopsided lefthander and was 10-5 up in two games before very narrowly losing in the fifth. 2-3

Olly also had a very close-run five-setter which could have gone either way, but a few nicks swung it Berko’s way. 2-3

In the doubles, Phil and I could not overcome our oppos, but Mike and Olly did really well to win their match. 0-2, 2-0.

Despite the absence of our first, second and third strings we managed a creditable 6 points vs. 14.

The next match takes place this coming Monday 20^th May at Beaconsfield 7.30pm vs. Tring 1.

Our line-up will be:

1.       Dan

2.       Trevor

3.       Tim

4.       Stan

I will bring along some body armour to be worn against whoever ends up playing Mr Walton.

Thanks for confirming your availability.

Tim

Beyond Chutzpah: Beaconsfield 1 vs. Chesham Bois - May 9th (Away)

Donkey Derby!
Here's skipper Tim, writing about himself in the 3rd person...

Our second match, fresh from nicking it against Aylesbury B, and we would have been in good shape for this match - were it not for two unfortunate incidents beforehand:

- First of all Mike had hurt his back while enjoying some R&R (poor Kate) and ruled himself unfit to play, so Tim stepped in to take his place.

- Second, Ches took off to Cyprus for a whole two weeks R&R (poor June). Full disclosure – our foolish captain had mis-read Ches’ whizzy skydrive spreadsheet and mistakenly thought Ches was available for this match. Doh!

So with a last minute replacement and only 3 men, into battle we went.

First on was Tim, playing Richard – an experienced player and a keen distance runner. The heat of the court meant Tim kept overhitting to narrowly lose the first game 11-9. However, body and brain then engaged to produce some droppy touchy shots to take the next 3 games. An uncharacteristic triumph of brain over brawn. 

3-1

Trevor then played Rob. Rob's squash game is all unreadable whacky, twisty, wristy, boasty etc. Works well for him with a small black bollock but doesn't translate to Racket ball at all. He's a smart man who will work out the game in due time. Meanwhile, yesterday, Trev spanked him in due time. Remember Rob, in Racketball, "he who dares does not win..." 

3-0

Then Dan played Wayne, their deceptively athletic #1. It looked like Dan had it in the bag after a two minute first game, but the match turned into a hard-fought 5 setter with Dan emerging triumphant. 

3-2

Chesham’s #2 Ian then asked forlornly where our #2 was. ‘Cyprus’ was not the answer he was expecting. Desperate calls to various Beaconsfield racketballers yielded no joy. Not wishing to leave the poor man gameless, Tim then went on again for another tough 5 setter, eventually running out of legs to lose 11-8 in the 5^th game.  

2-3

Which left the doubles, one of which we had to forfeit, but Trev and Dan dug-in to grab a game in a very close defeat. 1-2

So if we forfeit the #2 game and one of the doubles games, the match ended up as a 10-10 draw, which all felt to be a fair outcome!

Captain’s note: please expect belt and braces e-mails, SMS and carrier pigeon to confirm availability for future games...

Beyond Chutzpah: Racketball Match Report: Beaconsfield 1 vs. Aylesbury B, April 29th (H)

B1 Skipper Tim Westall writes:

Kicking off this year’s campaign in the Bucks league…

First up was Trev against Simon, a tricky left-hander. The first rally lasted more than 50 strokes and nearly floored poor Trev who puffed hard and narrowly lost a tightly contested first game. Simon’s error rate crept up in the second for Trev to squeeze back in, sustaining momentum to win the third and fourth. A few unlucky nicks then led Simon to a narrow victory in the 5th. 2-3

Next on was Ches against Craig.  We would normally have expected Craig to be playing #1 and he was merciless with our poor Python. Only saw snippets of this game. 0-3

Then Tim played Greg, who did the decent thing by not mentioning his upcoming knee-op. This meant that he could not hop to the front of the court in time to reach any short shots, so the match lasted a brief 14 minutes. 3-0

Dan took on Justin who was all young and fit; a somewhat unfashionable look in the racketball world. Thankfully Dan was on precision form after a weekend’s intense squash and forced his younger quicker oppo into numerous errors. Spanking good win for Dan. 3-1

We then proceeded to the pantomime that is racketball doubles. After intense practice of doubles (hours spent on theory – 0, hours spent on court – 0), we found ourselves somewhat exposed against the Aylesbury boys who are big fans of the foursome format.

First on were Trev and Ches vs. Simon and Craig. Didn’t see this match but apparently reasonably tight, all things considered. 1-2

This left us tied at 9 points apiece with the final doubles match to play. Dan and Tim took on Justin and Greg for a feast of grunting, lets and off-the-ball collisions. Luckily our mix of brute force and front court finesse did just the job. 2-0

So we scraped it at 11 points to 9.

With Ches and Trev away for a large chunk of the next few weeks our cupboard is bare, so if you have a racketball bat and a pulse, please get in touch…

Tim x