Hat Club 4: March 1st: Martin Stephenson: Tickets Selling Fast!

A reminder that you can reserve your space now.
Simply ask any member of staff to put your name on the Hat Club Clip Board.
Please note that you will need to pay £10 a head at the time.
This will guarantee  you a spot.
But hurry!
Half of the tickets have already been sold...

Hat Club 4: March 1st: Martin Stephenson

The next Hat Club date is set for Saturday March 1st.
Put it in your diaries; it should be a very special evening.
Martin Stephenson is a name that should resonate with anyone who has a half decent record collection.
Here's news of Martin's latest recording 'California Star', and mention of his musical history:

BRITISH SONGWRITING TREASURE MARTIN STEPHENSON RETURNS WITH THE DAINTEES FOR NEW CAREER LANDMARK ALBUM

Much-travelled, much-loved British singer-songwriter Martin Stephenson and his band the Daintees are back with a new career highlight, more than 30 years after Stephenson first emerged as one of our most distinguished performers.
Stephenson’s restless troubadour spirit has now amassed an extraordinary catalogue of 40 albums, and the latest addition is another landmark. ‘California Star’ is the band’s first record to appear in a new deal with Absolute Marketing, distributed by Universal, and stands as delightful proof that a fifty-something artist can go on getting better and better.
‘California Star’ shines with all of Martin’s amassed influences, from folk and country to Americana to rock ‘n’ roll, but with plenty of the style that’s pure Stephenson and no one else. “I just went on a little journey with it,” he says.
“I don’t have huge budgets now, but I like that, it makes you resourceful. Rock ‘n’ roll wasn’t built on huge budgets, so it’s good to have a little bit of pressure. Sometimes if you’ve got huge budgets,” he adds with his trademark understated humour, “you end up sitting in the jacuzzi when you should be playing.”
‘California Star’ is already being heralded as the Daintees’ finest work since ‘Boat To Bolivia,’ and that’s some comparison. That was the 1986 debut that announced one of the most perceptive songwriters of the day, with a thoughtful, layered sound in an age of excess. The NME said of Stephenson’s song craft that he “builds bridges between love and hate, cradle and grave, folk and pop, past and present.”

“There’s lots of different dimensions in music,” muses the Durham native, who now lives in Invergordon in the Scottish Highlands, where he also runs his own small label for young artists he admires, Barbaraville. In the summer, he played to 5,000 admirers in the acoustic tent at Glastonbury, and will be taking the new songs from ‘California Star’ to a venue near you soon.
“Sometimes, no matter how open rock ‘n’ roll people think they are, they can have a blinkered view of how the scene and the universe shift,” he says. “You’ve got to redefine yourself. It just depends whether you’re connected to it or not.”

Bulls Beat Chesham Wrinklies

Chesham Bois Wrinklies visited the club last week.

As you can see, Matron is still in Majorca so they were forced to drive themselves... they weren't happy.

Kevin Mears put pen to paper to tell this tale (actually dictated this to young Michael Mears; the family's only 'writer').

Bulls v Chesham Old Boys

Following our narrow victory at the end of December against the Old Boys, it was our turn to host the return leg. 

The Bulls were rather plump after many celebrations over the festive period and looked more like hopefuls for the next Telly Tubby film, rather than a team of finely tuned athletes.

First up was our Toby, at the time undefeated in the first division.  It was always going to be a tough match against Phil Cornhill and it turned out to become a magnificent match with Toby narrowing winning the first 10/9, losing the next two, coming back with lovely touch and reactions to win the 4^th but finally running out of steam in the 5^th. 2-3

Next was Olly, who faced Aubrey.  Aubrey is never an easy to play against and Olly was unable to hit a decent length.  This put Aubrey in his comfort zone and was therefore able to control the match. 0-3

I went on against Richard and unfortunately for Richard, his hips gave way in the second game so he conceded and will hopefully return in a few weeks. 0-3

At 2-1 down the bulls were not looking confident.  Harry was up against the formidable and unorthodox Bob Ballingall, who had completely destroyed Jim in the last match (sorry to remind you Jim).  Telephone calls were exchanged and Monkey Boy played really well and sensibly.  That said, he was 2/1 down and 8 all and the result could have been so different had he not dug in and battled for each rally.  He won the 4^th 10 – 8 and fortunately had enough energy to win the 5^th with relative ease 3-2.  This was surely to be the match of the night

With everything poised at 2-2 up stepped our captain the Piggy who faced the bionic Steve Lewis.  This was Steve’s debut match for Chesham Bois following a break of c35 years.  The two contrasting styles was a joy to watch although both players looked totally exasperated at many and different times throughout this epic and gruelling match (welcome to Bucks squash Steve).  Ian fought so well to win this match and deserves the man of the match trophy.  The final game went down to the wire with Steve unable to close out the game and Ian finally piping him to the post 10/9 in the 5^th .   A fantastic result and great end to the first match of the season.  3-2

Footnote: If you are a 'CB Wrinkly' and are reading this, one of your group left a wallet in the changing room. No name or money inside, but you might recognise your loss by these photos found within... perhaps reminders of former glories and victories?

Please call the club to claim. 
If our receptionist asks who you are... ask Matron, she'll remind you.

Trojans: Half Term Report

Special awards/thanks/mentions go to:

Team members present at the WSRC/Booker away match, where we managed to ring up enough of a bar tab that WSRC has threatened they are taking a mini-bus to Beaconsfield for the return leg!
All those who acted as my driver to/from matches; both home and away.
Captain Chapples for subsidizing the team's home match bar tab thus far....although we suspect a 'final invoice' at end of season to compensate him will be forthcoming.
Joe Budzynski 

Club coach Andy Longman never sleeps.
Here he is with two of his proteges at Kelly's Irish Bar in New Haven.
Apparently Charlie and James both drank him under the table. Poppa Mark paid.

Christmas Hat Club: Dec 20th: Get Your Tickets Now!

A suggestion that you get your tickets asap for the Christmas Hat Club next Friday.
I believe that there are perhaps 10 tickets left.
Here's another snippet of what you will be missing out on...
This is Luce and Marcus performing 'Who You Were Born To Be'.

Tigers Update

Dan Fernandez writes:

As Gazza recently seems to be spending more time renting/moving house or travelling overseas than playing squash, the required team capt role of writing up match reports is sporadic to say the least.
So another batch of match reports across Dec.

GX v Tigers
The week after playing GX we played them away. Another import came in at no2, Nev, who was a much better player than the previous ringer Steve. Mike tucked up Trevor Loran in minutes. Jonny won in 5 v Nev who ran out of gas despite nice racket work. Trying to repeat my win v Andy Peers l pulled my back badly and went down 0-3. Chris lost 0-3 to Mile Burnett as did Gareth who didn't know where to turn v Heff. So 2-3 loss

CB1B v Tigers
A tricky fixture v bottom team who had strengthened with Darren Withey at 1 but Jonny was off watching spurs so a tight match entailed.
Mike was just too sharp for Darren 3-0.
Despite Priya's expert hands l was only able to hobble about even more slowly than normal and lost in 4 to Mike Thorpe. Gareth had a good run v spiky haired Simon but was too predictable 1-3. Chris G had a close match v his nemesis Neil Hinds who he has only beaten a handful of times in 25 years. From 0-2, he dug in, got to the 5th but just couldn't pull it off. Dave Powell stepped in at 5 and was too classy for Rob Ely 3-1

HG v Tigers
In theory a weaker Tigers played the high flying HG this week but the depth of talent within the club shone thru for a famous win.
Mike McL took on Alex Hartley and on a cold court the boasts were quite working and the ball was dying in the back. At 0-2 down Mike informed us he'd had the lurgy so we were unsure how the match would pan out. We needn't have worried as he controlled the next 3 with lovely weight of shot and control to win 3-2.
Meanwhile Jonny was involved in a hackathon on next court with Tor. Going 1-2 down and looking fragile JM listened to advice from the balcony to hit better length and attack and won 3-2.
Brakes were then put on our progress as the Pig playing a chippy youngster who wound Olly up last week lost in 3 and l was out run by James Harley.
So match was all in the hands of the recently 'retired' Dave Powell up against Oz. Dave started well and just continued playing flawless squash not letting his larger opponent get a sniff 3-0. I wont spoil Dave's win by saying Oz had a bad back and had already played earlier that evening but you can only play whats in front of you...  Score 13-10.

Bulls v Chesham Wrinklies

Captain Piggin's match report: 

We played some squash against some old chaps.  
- I lost to a young chap who was bald and thereby qualified for their team.  
- Jim had a sorrowful experience against Rob who made him look a bit silly really (no offence Jim).  
- Olly beat an old man.  
- Harry almost lost to a very old man, but managed to scrape through thereby preserving his proud “I only lose to girls” victory chant.  
- Kev beat Tristan Farley Wotsit, which clinched the match for us.  
We then reminisced about how we much we missed Trev, although reflecting that we may have lost the match overall if he had played.  
Swings and Roundabouts, etc.

Tigers Match Report

Dan Fernandez writes: 

In the unlikelihood of Gareth finding a pen as he moves house, I dusted off the keyboard and jotted down a few comments on the Tigers season so far:

The team of Mike 'Real McCoy' McLaughlin; Jonny 'running machine' Machin; Adam Pyne (when fit); Dan Dare; Gazza and Chris 'Rhino' Gildersleve have settled in to the season well, turning out regularly, playing some good squash and building a good team spirit.
We started off the season at the end Sept with an expected win over the relatively weak Chesham 1B , followed up by a great victory over a strong Holmer Green side with top performances by Mike, Jonny & Chris. Next up we had a feisty battle (1-4 defeat) with the Lions who have hardly taken the 'split strength' ideal to heart (Treadwell at no4!). This was followed by a 2-3 defeat to a super strong Aylesbury team (both Phipps + Marshall at 1 + 2), however, Mike was 2-0 and 5-1 up v Tom and Gazza pulled off his best victory to date beating Ian McGowan from 0-2 down.
End Oct before a 3 week break we played current champs Chesham 1A and an upset was on the cards as Mike and Jonny won (JM beating the improved Sam Pothecary in 5). However the 'senior' members of the team at 3,4,5 didn't cut the mustard, unfortunately all losing comfortably.
So bringing readers up to date, this week we played GX who have started poorly but 'strengthened' by bringing in SWright at 2 for his 1st match. At no1 Mike v Trev Loran was played early with the McCoy winning comfortably 3-1. At 2 Jonny tucked up S Wright in 20mins. Despite being tall he was so out of ranking order playing that high up he had vertigo. At 3 I had a thriller with Andy Peers. Never having beaten him before and off the back of an inter-county weekend I was feeling good and in a ding dong match of me hitting winning shots only to see his younger legs return them with interest we ended up at 2-2 with my hamstring on fire. Despite the pain I managed to dig in to win the 5th. Gazza at 4 had a tough ask v Hefferman and despite a good performance in 1st never got on top of Heffs deceptive forehand pushing him into back corners, going down in 3. At 5 Rhino was in a battle royale v the rejuvenated Mike Burnett who on form should be higher up order (a consistent GX theme!) having beaten CK 3-0 last week. After an hour+ they were 2-2. We all hoped after a long weekend away with Mrs G, that Chris had some lead left in his pencil to claim a famous win, however, despite long rallies the points went the other way.
So a good team win 3-2/15-9 putting us firmly mid-table with a record P6 W3 L3.
Its a shame the club management despite requests don't seem to be able to promote the forthcoming team matches as a few more faces on the balcony cheering the home teams on would be welcome.

Christmas Hat Club Special: Friday December 20th

Tickets are selling fast for our Christmas Hat Club.
We have but 40 left so, please, get your name down on the club clip board to be sure of a space for what is sure to be an evening of quality music with a seasonal twist. After two successful Hat Clubs we offer up a seasonal musical bird. And this bird ain't no turkey; she's the beautiful and very talented Lucinda Drayton.
Back in 1994 Lucinda wrote a number one hit single for Toni Di Bart, 'The Real Thing'. Luce is also well known for her work with the band 'Bliss', whose contemplative tones gathered many a fan of gentle, ambient fare. She has since gone on to pursue a successful solo career that integrates her spiritual life into her mellow, melodic muse.
Her music is now 'somewhere between Enya and Lorena Mckennit, with a bit of Joni Mitchell thrown in...". As Luce says, "for me this music is as honest as I can be about my journey and the experiences I have been lucky enough to have. Many of the lyrics feel like they are given to me rather than me writing them...often when I hear the songs being played while I am meditating I am also touched, as if I were listening to someone else... I could describe how our music has changed in terms of production and instrumentation but quite simply, it comes from a different place and has a different aim, it is made to open peoples' hearts and to bring beauty and peace and healing... I can't say more than this without becoming seriously cheesy... it speaks for itself."

Lucinda will be performing at The Hat Club with her partner Marcus Cliffe. 
Marcus has played with many fine folk, including Mark Knopfler, Sting and Rod Stewart. 
He also happens to be my musical partner too, we are the duo: Miracle Mile.

I'm posting a couple of tracks below; firstly Lucinda's evergreen 'A Hundred Thousand Angels' and then a performance by Marcus, Luce and band of 'Sit Right Here'.

Raging Bulls v Chesham Juniors

Kevin Mears writes:

Having been narrowly defeated by The Bears last week, The Bulls regrouped and were determined to return from their first visit to Chesham Bois with a handsome victory.

With Captain Pig having a business meeting (at the 02 arena watching tennis), the services of 1^st division undefeated Magic Johnson were called upon.  With Seb at two and Olly returning at 5, what could possibly go wrong against some fresh faced ‘juniors’ from Chesham Bois?

First up was Olly: Looking somewhat lacklustre in the first, Olly and Peter Stevenson traded games until the 5th, when Olly’s experience and flare brought him to a comfortable victory.
Welcome back Olly to your winning ways.
3/2

Jim played Simon Clark. While Jim beat Simon last season, Jim never got out of the starting blocks, whereas Simon was energetic, accurate and ultimately unstoppable.
0/3

Kev played Tom Ormiston. Rather similar to Jim’s match, Kev never got going and was extinguished by Tom’s unorthodox style.
0/3

All was not lost with victories needed from Seb and Toby, both more junior than the youngest junior from the Juniors.

Seb dropped the first two games against Andy Piper and after a pep talk from Jim, returned to win the 3rd. Alas, Andy’s form returned and his accuracy and reach was ultimately too much for Seb.
1/3

Finally an in-form Toby stepped up to provide the Bulls with an exhibition of first division squash. Toby’s fitness training, coaching and first division experience has resulted in him being undefeated this season. Surely returning to division 2 would be a breeze for our Magic. The first went according to plan 9/1. Peter East is however no push over and his mixture of fitness, accuracy and reach were more than Toby had bargained on. Trailing 1/2 Toby dug deep and won the 4th 9/0. Surely this would now be a victory for our Magic. Sadly, this was not the Bull’s night and having squandered a couple of match balls at 8/6, Peter never gave up and secured a solid victory over a startled Toby.
2/3

The top of division 1 table shows the Bulls 1st with 75 points, Bears 2nd with 75 points and Farnham Common 3rd with 73 points. This is however flattering, since all other teams in the division have played less matches.

Tigers go toe to toe with The Vale

Chris Gildersleve writes:

We hosted Aylesbury 1st team who it has to be said rather rudely turned up with two number ones!
So Running Machin(e) cheerily went on 1st against Matt and proceeded to run to all 4 corners of the court. As the match went on Matt rather unkindly would send him to one corner before despatching the ball to another, Johnny would oblige him with by running to where he was convinced the ball was going to go before doubling back to where it finally went. He looked mightily relived the match finished so quickly. 0-3
Meanwhile the crowds were building on Ct4 as our Real McCoy's big test against the force that is Phippsy. High octane stuff indeed it was with a hard fought 1st going our way and an even more convincing 2nd. The crowd were rubbing their hands when a healthy 4-0 lead was looking like a landmark victory but Thomas dug into his deep pool of experience and cleared the 1st hurdle. Mike had lost his momentum as Tom squared the match as Mike's trade mark "error free" squash was deserting him. This was a very competitive game but not to go to the good guys. 2-3
Dan Dare showed up at the customary 8:30 slot only to complain that he had to mark me (Rhino) and Simon Townsend rather than watch the climax to Mike & Tom, sh*t happens. The season so far for me has been renewing old rivalries and Simon and I go back some 30 years!  He came out of the blocks well and no surprises I lost the 1st but thankfully not to cheaply. With the beautiful game being exploited on Ct 4 this was a contrast of extremes but the uglier it got the better I faired. So ugly it stayed and our 1st win of the night was posted. 3-1
Ashers took on Ian McGowan who in my day was at 1 until Tom grew up but has always had a gritty game. Ashers came in the changing room 2 nil down declaring himself not fit enough to play at this level. I reminded him that there was no way the Ian takes on any the the outrageously stupid court routines he put himself through regularly and that he should use this to his advantage, he left shaking his head. I went and got a beer (my new found training aid) to get back up to see he was now 2-2! Ian does not lie down easily and the work rate Ashers was putting in was considerable but he proved up to the challenge and posted his best scalp to date. 3-2
With Sick Note sending in his note. Dan Dare moved up to 3. Once again on last once again the match all level. Sam Hales is fitter and faster than Dan and has considerably more hair. When someone consistently picks up your best shots the temptation is to try and hit an even better one, this usually brings the tin into play and that was the story of the 1st two games. Not looking good at all for the good guys. On the basis that my pep talk to Asher's was responsible for his win downstairs I ventured to impart more wisdom, patience Dan wait for the openings to come. He gets the 3rd. Down I go again "keep it going the pace is good" Dan looked at me and then at the Defibrillator. It was not to be, Sam's engine had more horses so no fairytale ending. 1-3.
Still 9 points against this lot is no disgrace, Mike was close to pulling it off and Gareth got a great win. Next Chesham Bois and more thankfully no Curry.
Clearly embarrassed by this oversight caused simply by their No.5 pulling out last minute and rather than doing the honourable thing and finding some lowly 3rd team replacement opted without shame to bring Matt Marshall along with Thomas Phipps to enjoy our Curry. I cannot help thinking that a homemade bowl of unidentifiable meat and gravy along with some boiled to bits vegetables ( I wonder how Pauline is doing?) may well have been to our advantage. Hey Ho! 

x

Trojans v Aylesbury 2

So, the Trojans next outing, this time away to Aylesbury 2. 

Chapples' strategy for this match was admirable.  With Joe absent and Richard G injured, we needed some top line replacements.  He managed to finesse Olly at 1 and Heather  at 2, not bad for the 5^th team.  So, stuffed with ringers we had nothing but confidence for our trip.  What could possibly go wrong?

On arrival, the first cracks appeared.  Was that Dave Herron? What's he doing here?  I'm sure he was in the semi-final of the Bucks closed a year or so ago! And who's that other bloke, I'm sure I've seem him play against our second team before!?

So first up was Heather against Dave Herron, a lefty versus a ginger, what a combo.  Tough one to call.  Heather took a while to get used to the cool courts, but her customary solid play started to tell. Playing great lengths with consistency saw her take the fist game 9-7. Dave then started to play a little deeper in order to cope with Heather's lengths and started to pick her off with some finely judged boasts.  Once on top he never looked back, result 3-1.

Next was Olly against Simon Townsend, a very awkward customer.  Despite some very stylish play from Olly, he was having great difficulty dealing with his unorthodox opponent. (I swear I saw him play one drop shot with the racquet handle vertical). Some fine play from Olly, but just not consistent enough.  Result 3-0.

Yours truly next against Ian Durrant, a tall, gangly customer.  Being a slow starter, I wasn't too worried about taking time to get to grips with my opponent.  Lost the first game.  Started getting better in the second, but despite starting to improve and play some good shots  I struggled to get on the front foot. Unsettled him with a few unorthodox shots, but sad to say, never got to grips with the  occasion.

Result 3-0

Captain for the night, Richard Monson came next, against Alex Woodyer, a very good player.  Richard started a bit erratically, and took a while to adjust, but lost the first game 9-0.  He started the second better and his well known ability to retrieve balls that were well past him, definitely helped, but his lack of match practice started to take its toll.  After he lost the second, I told Heather to give him some advice “but I don't know what to tell him” she said , - “ well just make something up” I urged. Whatever she said, it wasn't quite enough.

Result 3-0

Finally, big John Catchpole was playing a 16 year old girl. It looked like Tarzan versus Jane.  And so it started out, John did a marvelous job of intimidating his opponent and took the first game.  In the second game his opponent calmed her nerves a bit and started to play a very tidy, well crafted game.  1 game all.  Unfortunately as the game continued John tried to play a more cultured game (for him), not a good time to try out new ideas.  Despite telling him to go out there and 'unsettle' his opponent as only he could do, the game morphed into something more like David versus Goliath.  Still, he got one game more than most of us.

Result 3-1.

So we lost he match 5-0, an unnerving crash back to earth – a retreat with dented shields and bent spears.  And the moral of the tale is – make sure your ringers are better than their ringers.

A Brace of Tiger Match Reports: Chris Gildersleve writes:

Tigers show their claws:

Our Captain (Ashers) has been preoccupied somewhat and the deputy Captain Fernandez (Dan who Dares) promptly seconded yours truly (Rhino) to do the team report.

Star- Date: 2-10-2013

Location: Chesham Bois

Players (In ranked order): (Jonny)Running Machin(e): (Adam) Sick Note: Dan Dares: (Chris) Rhino: The Pig

The Running Machine kicked of our season in possibly his first ever showing at 1 in Div1 against a talent that is Phil Taylor and made his mark he did. The result show a 3-1 win to Jonny and that is how it will be remembered. Jonny wanted some perspective with regard to the fact that he has 2 legs and his opponent just the 1½ . But I have told him a win is a win and we a re grateful.

Sick Note eased himself back to squash after a lengthily layoff with a tricky oppo -  Mike Thorpe - that manifested an untidy game but the experience and last drops of energy that Adam called on was enough to pull through. 3-2, there is more to come from Adam so a positive start indeed.

I followed on against Neil Hinds. I have played Neil many times in the last 20 years and at best have registered 2 wins and today was not one of them 0-3, I take some comfort in his ranked position relative to ability is probably on the generous side.

The Pig kindly filling in for Ashers tour down under started very well but a combination of the previous nights efforts and then Rob Parry finding his range 1-3

No prizes for guessing the last man up, has anyone ever seen him go on 1st? Anyhow it was worth the wait as this was the game of the night. With Dan cruising through the 1st and the second was well on its way when Simon Ross found his way into the game (and the I cant say before you knew it as it was now pretty late and we were getting very hungry) it was 2-2. As before Dan would run up a 6 point advantage only to find it levelled back up. How often do we find ourselves at the end of the evening with everything hanging on the last game of the last match anyhow Dan Dare did dare to take a few chances that finally paid off and as we all know he who dares……wins! So a tight night with the spread of points 10-10 but the winners spoils of the bonus 4 to the good guys. A good start to our campaign.

Star-Date: 9-10-2013

Location: Beaconsfield

Players (In ranked order):  (Mike McLaughlin) The Real McCoy: (Jonny)Running Machin(e): (Adam) Sick Note: Dan Dares: (Chris) Rhino

With two teams back in Div1 some strengthening was required especially at the top order to avoid the Tigers requiring the dreaded parachute payment next season. So welcome with me if you will Mike who kicked of proceedings against young Alex Hartley. The opening salvo were a brace of hand in/outs of 40/50 shot rallies with no ¼ given or taken. It was exhausting to mark but neither player appeared to show any effects. It felt like a good 10 minutes before a point was won and it was Alex's hard worked advantage. The next few went with Alex before Mike finally got on the board but the momentum swung back to Alex to take the 1st game. Mike came out stronger in the second commanding the T bossing Alex around the court. There were still no easy points but Alex was making more errors. 1-1 The same applied to the 3rd with Mike looking more comfortable. 2-1. Expectations from the home crowd were soon vanquished as Alex found his way back into the game, it was brutally hard squash still long rallies with great court coverage both players still attempting to look unflustered and take control but Alex got it back to 2-2. Was Mike spent? Quite the opposite, the 4th game was the best that Alex had to offer and it toll was taken in legs and heart  as Mike backed up his squash with his stamina to show us all he is a great asset to the Tigers and yes The Real McCoy. (3-2)

Adam Anderton was gracing court 4 aside Mike and as I was marking I did not see too much. He took the 1st two games before the lack of court time took hold of his game and at this level tiny margins are all that is required for the advantage to swing. But 2 points to add to his 3 last week are a great contribution to the cause. 2-3

I went on next once again vs an opponent that I have played many times in the last 20 years. My record much better here thankfully but any game against Mark Mellett is going to go the distance as he never ever gives up. We had some good exchanges to start but Mark found his stride quicker than I and took the 1st. I was pleased to settle down in the 2nd and took it for 2 points and even happier in the 3rd when I won to love. No surprises to those that know us to hear that Mark fought back strongly in the 4th to level things up but I had run him hard. So here we are again fighting a 5th. I quickly take control and cash in on the 4th to take the final game to love. 3-2

I get back to see that Running Machin(e) is having a ding dong with Tor Stockdale and is 2-1 up. The rallies are tight and the pace is high but Jonny holds on to win in 4. 3-1 and a second win secured. 

Can we seal it off in the last match with Dan Dare and Ozzie Mustafa. Ozzie gets the better start and takes the 1st. Dan gets involved in the 2nd but loses 10-8. The odds of Ozzie holding on at this pace are slim but hold on he does taking the final game 10-8, so sadly no icing on the cake but a win against Holmer Green is no mean feat, well done to all. 

Trojans v Chesham Bois 1879 2

John Bullard writes (reticently):

At last, the big night had arrived, the Trojans were about to play their first match. 

The air crackled with nervous tension.

Our opponents, Chesham 1879 2 – tricky.

With Chapples, Monson and Bullard in the team, it was never going to be pretty to watch. Consequently, I suggest that the team motto should be Turpis Lucri -"win ugly". 

And we need some classy Trojan nicknames.

First up, yours truly. Bit of pressure before the off, as it doesn't look good to lose when you're playing at 5 for the fifth team. My opponent, Paul, a young, stocky upstart who turned out to be surprisingly quick. First game was a 'getting the measure of each other' affair, which I eventually won when he called a bold '1' at 8-all. Relaxed a bit in the 2nd, played a few lobs and won that 9-3. Relaxed a bit too much in the 3rd and lost 5-9. Came back fired up in the 4th and closed out the match at 9-5. 

Result 3-1

Monson was playing at 4. His opponent looked like a cross between Giant Haystacks and Burl Ives and about as mobile. Richard complained that “he got in the way all the time” - did everybody spot the irony there? At the end of the first game he came off looking grim-faced and ashen, not good. However, with some adroit advice from the team, he started to move him about and turned it around. Result 3-1

Playing 2 was Richard Graham. Steve was a very capable, disciplined opponent who gave him trouble from the off, confidently putting Richard's serves away and dominating the play. After settling in, Steve took the first game 9-4. In the second game he had the measure of Richard and won 9-2. Richard rallied a bit in the 3rd, but overstretched himself and did his back in. Carried off on his shield. Result 0-3

Over on ct 5 captain Chapples was in a titanic struggle with Mark. This was epic stuff!! Chaps took the first 9-7. Mark won the 2nd 10-8. And boy was it ugly. The crowd in the gallery didn't know what to do with themselves. Chaps then lost the 3rd! The noble captain girded his loins and won a herioc 4th game. The 5th game was unwatchable. I have never seen Chapples run so much. He kept getting a lead and then losing it. He got match point – then lost it, disaster. At 8-8 it looked like he might have come unstuck. Nobody in the gallery could stand it. Back and forward it went, impossibly gutsy shots, miraculous retrieving, wood shots, this game had it all. Finally, he dragged himself over the line to win 10-8. Worthy of an epic poem. At last, the gallery could go to the bar. 

 Result 3-2

Finally, Joe Budzinski playing at 1. His opponent was a big lad – like the entire Persian army in one bloke. Very stylish, he had a drop shot that was a gift from the Gods – better than St John's. In the 1st game Joe made a lot of unforced errors, probably because he had just got back from India. Lost the 1st game a surprising 9-2. Got into his rythmn in the 2nd and just got better. Great game to watch, brilliant shots from both players. 

Result 3-1 

My suggestion for Joe's 'nom de guerre' – Paris (Trojan prince), very stylish.

So, a handsome victory in our first encounter - and a heroic bar bill.

Nike! (means 'victory')